#with him and Porky looking like he wants to put a gun to his head.

[ducktracy]

i am absolutely revolted and horrified with myself for never properly posting this gag. i absolutely adore it through how it comes completely out of nowhere. Rabbit Every Monday essentially does the same gag and better, but it just feels so random in this otherwise relatively middling late-era McKimson short (which i'm still nonetheless fond of). that, and, of course the entire short is about Daffy and Porky running rival hotels and i just LOVE the implications behind our beloved naive, innocent Porky drawing crowds with burlesque dancers because he knows sex sells. there's a story being told here and it is so so so so so funny to think about. and Daffy's just rather stoic acceptance of it. it's so good. stupid but good.

[manicplank]

The Color Pink (Part 4)

The Noise's eyes were wide, and his pupils drifted slightly apart as he was lost in thought. He was nervous. He was still thinking about that girl and the fact that he asked her out. It was such a spur of the moment thing. He was afraid it was just another irresponsible decision he made on impulse. Even worse, he couldn't believe she said yes. Now he had to go through with something that he never really thought about. He only thought about her and the occasional visits to her, but now, they were going to have a one on one meeting.

"MISTER NOISE!"

The Noise shook his head and straightened his eyes out. "Huh? Where am I?!" A small Noisey with a baseball cap that said "director" on it was tapping its little foot.

"You're still on set, idiot," it yelled.

"Oh, right... Sorry."

"You're so distracted today. What's going on with you?!"

"I-I don't know. I'm just... spaced out? I guess... I'm not too sure..."

"Are you feeling sick or something?"

"Kind of... I feel a little queezy. My stomach feels weird."

"Maybe if you ate actual food instead of candy, you wouldn't keep getting sick. Now, get it together! We have several scenes to film today, and you were already late to begin with."

"Right, right, sorry."

The Noise walked up to a western-esque set. They were filming a western movie; The Loud Sound. Noise was quickly costumed with a belt, a vest, and a sombrero on top of his usual wear. A pig dressed as a cowboy and another dressed as a old-timey woman stood across from him. "Alright," said the director, "Porky, you're holding an innocent woman hostage as you're approached by our bounty hunter, Noise. He's been chasing you down for miles. You're tired, and this is your last stand. Noise, you've finally come face to face with the biggest bounty you've ever hunted. The money is enough to make you wealthy for life. However, he's one hell of a sharp shooter. You've met your match. You have to get both him and the woman alive or you won't get the bounty. Aaand, ACTION!"

"You might'a had me cornered," said the pig in a western accent, "but I ain't going down without a fight."

"Let her go, Pork Chop," The Noise responded in a slight Mexican accent. "I don't wanna hurt you."

The pig held a prop gun to the woman's head. "You only want the money! You don't give a damn about justice! You don't give a damn about her life!" He pushed his gun against her, and she let out a scream.

"Let her go, and you'll walk out of here alive."

"I'll be dragged out of here in cuffs and hobbles! You'll get the money, and eveybody's gonna think yer a hero! But you're nothing more than a greedy sum'a bi-"

In the middle of the heated scene, The Noise's phone began to ring in the distance. "CUT," yelled the director. "Are you KIDDING me?!" The Noise looked like a deer in headlights. He dashed towards his phone. He didn't recognize the number. Stupidly, he answered it, "Hello?"

"Hey," spoke a familiar female voice, "I know this seems like a long shot, but... Is this The Noise?"

"Yeah...?"

"Hey, it's Hazel!"

"Oh, it's you! Give me a minute." He put his hand over the phone to block the sound. He headed over to the director. "I gotta take this," he said, "it's uh... my doctor!" He ran out of the set and into the hallway. "Sorry about that."

"That's okay! I didn't mean to call so early. I kind of thought you were pranking me so... I wanted to make sure I got the right number."

He laughed. "I can see why you thought that."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, no, not at all!" He spoke as if he wasn't in the middle of work.

"I was wondering what sort of ideas you had for lunch. I mean, my cafe still doesn't serve food, so..."

"Well, what were you thinking?"

She giggled. "I wasn't thinking anything, I hoped you had an idea in mind."

"Oh. Hm... You know what? There's this neat bubble tea place in The Pig City that has really good food."

"I love bubble tea! I didn't know there was a place to get it in the tower."

"Yeah, it's great. They have ramen, dumplings, macarons, rolled ice cream, all sorts of cool stuff!"

"That sounds great! So, when were you thinking we go there? I'm free all evening."

"I'm sort of at work right now, so-"

"What?! You said I wasn't interrupting anything!"

"You aren't! It's sort of a slow day today."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize! We can still make the plans."

"Oh, okay... So then when were you hoping to go?"

"How about tomorrow afternoon or the day after?"

"I can do tomorrow after I close the cafe."

"Cool! 3 o'clock sound good to you?"

"Yeah, that's perfect!"

"Okay, see you then!"

"Yep! Now get back to work!" She laughed.

He chuckled. "Alright, alright. If anything happens, just give me a call."

"Okay, bye!"

"Bye."

The Noise walked back into the set. Everyone stared as he entered the room. "Sorry," he apologized, "I got some bloodwork done. My doctor was just calling to tell me everything's good." The director noisey rolled its eyes. "Whatever, Noise. Put your phone on silent and get back in the scene! We are NOT working overtime today."

[ananicoleta]

Together Again

(A Space Jam 2 FanFiction)

Ok, so I imagine that after Bugs "died" in Space Jam 2, he didn't show up immediately. Instead, there were needed a few days for him to reappear, time during which the Looney Tunes thought he was dead. This fic shows their thoughts during that time, as well as a surprise at the end.

Enjoy!

WARNING: angst + kinda long

Daffy crept around the forest, always looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed or seen him. Not that it was very likely to happen. None of the Looney Tunes paid that much attention to anyone or anything anymore, so his absence would probabpy go unnoticed. All of them - him included - were trapped in their own thoughts and regrets, and the outside world just didn't matter anymore. The dynamic, the jokes, the atmosphere weren't - couldn't - be the same. Not ever since Bugs had...

Shaking his head, the duck snapped out of the thought that threatened to cloud his mind with pain and fog his eyes with tears. He had promised himself he won't let that happened. Just focus on the road, Daffy. You're almost there.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he reached his destination. The glade he knew so well looked just the way it did when he had left. The fresh grass, wet from the rain, shone into the sunlight as if it was made of cristal. The lively river cut its path through the strong rocks, running like a carefree child, while the birds happily sang their lovely tune.

Right in the middle of the glade, stood the well-known oak tree, tall as always, like a nobleman, proudly wearing its green attire. On the trunk, there could be spotted a poster that read: Duck Season. That was what Daffy was looking for.

He walked quietly towards it, still paranoic that someone might be there and see him. They for sure would ask him what was he doing and, honestly, he didn't know either. All he knew was that if he stayed one more minute alone in his house, trying to not think about Bugs, while automatically thinking about Bugs and missing him dearly, he'd go insane. He needed to feel the taste of their old game again, even if he had to play it all by himself.

Standing near the tree, he took a deep breath and began.

"Wabbit stheason!" He said, ripping the Duck Season poster.

Then, moving to the side opposite to him, he said in a quite accurate Bugs Bunny impression.

"Duck season!"

After, Daffy moved to the other side again and repeated the procedure. This went on for a while and it was, surprisingly, relaxing. It took his mind off of things and if he pretended hard enough, he could actually see and hear Bugs...

"Daffy?"

The duck slipped and fell right in the pile of posters that he had torn. When he lifted his head, he saw none other than Elmer Fudd, looking down at him, confused. He wore his usual clothes, complete with the hat and hunting gun.

"Didn't your mother tell you it wasth rude to sthcare people?" Daffy snapped, getting back on his feet.

"Sowwy, didn't mean to cweep up on you, duck." Elmer said apologetically. Then, peeking at the pile of sheets behind Daffy, he asked.

"Uh, what were you doing hewe?"

"I could ask you the sthame question." Daffy responded, not wanting to explain himself.

Elmer sighed and sat on the grass, his expression turning sad. In that moment, Daffy realised that the reason the hunter decided to come in this specific glade was the same as his.

Sighing as well, the duck sat down near his friend, feeling the depression taking control of him again. None of them spoke for a few minutes. They just sat there in silence, listening to the forest's whispers that seemed to mourn as well, as if it could feel someone was absent.

"You miss him as well, don't you?" Daffy asked after a while.

Elmer nodded. "I nevew thought I would miss him so much. He always annoyed me, always made me cuwse him. Now, though, I would give anything to heaw him again, to do pway 'Wabbit Season! Duck Season! Fiwe' just one mowe time..."

Elmer let out a stranggled sob and Daffy bit back his tears. If he had known that a few months ago would be the last time he, Elmer and Bugs would go through their hunting routine, he wouldn't have left, no matter what Al-G Rythim would have promised him. He would have listened and stood by the rabbit's side. But he was too selfish, as usual. He wanted to spread his wings, to be the hero of his own story and didn't care when Bugs practically begged them all to not go. And now it was too late. The rabbit was dead and there was nothing he or anyone could do.

Looking over at Elmer, he saw tears falling down his cheeks. Daffy extended his hand and gently wiped them away, ignoring how wet his own eyes were getting.

"Come on, Fuddsey." He said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go home and do something else. There's nothing for us here, anymore. Maybe we can help Granny with that big dinner she wanted to prepare for all of us."

And with that, the two left the glade that held so many happy memories, never looking back, afraid that they might get a glimpse of the past, one that would make them lose their composures completely.

/////////

Porky walked through Tune Town, making his way to Granny's house. He had recieved a message that morning from her that kindly asked him if he wanted to come over and help her make a delicious meal for the family, since cooking alone was a bit depressing.

Although she didn't say it, he could tell from her tone that the reason she wanted him near was so she wouldn't have the opportunity to think about Bugs. Who could blame her? None of them wanted to think of Bugs. And they all tried so hard not to.

The pairs of enemies, like Road Runner and Wile E., Sylvester and Tweety, Foghorn Leghorn and Barnyard, went right back to chasing and teasing each other, though Porky could see the lack of energy and how forced it looked. Toons like Yosemite Sam, Marvin and Speedy were always away, probably somewhere where there was just them alone and their thoughts, where no one could bother them. Then there were the ones like Garnny, himself and occasionaly Pepe Le Pew and Penelope, that tried to cheer them all up, while they themselves were almost dead on the inside.

And it hurt a lot. It hurt to look at their dishearted family, trying to do anything in order to forget, even for a moment, that Bugs was dead. It hurt to feel so powerless to put an end to their pain, to hear them crying their hearts out, knowing that no matter what he said, it won't make a difference. It hurt to see them separated and not wanting to interact with anybody.

This was the main reason Granny had proposed the dinner.

At first, he didn't think it was such a good idea, but then he figured that they couldn't just stay in their houses forever, watching time fly by, grieving their friend. As painful as it was, he knew he had to put it all behind him and accept that they would never see Bugs again. If only they wouldn't have left...

"Hi, Porky." Came a voice from nearby.

Wipping his eyes quickly, Porky greeted his friends as well.

"H-Hi, Da-Da-Daffy. And hello, Elm-Elmer, t-too."

Seeing the black duck and the toon human cheered him up a bit. His family always managed to do that.

"Whe-where you guys o-off t-t-t, uh, going?"

"We thought we might stop at Gwanny's and hewp her with the cooking." Elmer said.

"Oh, re-really? Th-That's great, 'cause I was he-hea-heading there a-as we-we-we, uh, too."

As they walked down the road they continued to chat about this and that, just for the sake of making conversation and not walking in silence. They climbed the hill that led to the valley full of nice, suburban houses, meaning they were almost at Granny's.

When they made it to the top, Porky simply glanced in to the distance... and his heart caught in his throat. Stopping dead in his tracks, causing his other two friends to bump into him, he stared forward convinced that his eyes must be playing tricks on him.

"Hey, what gives, Pig?" An annoyed Daffy asked.

Seeing as Porky didn't answer, they followed his startled gaze, and saw exactly what had caused the pig to react like that.

Down in the valley, right near the entrance of Tune Town, there was a silhouette walking towards the suburbs. It might've been just a trick of the light, or maybe a product of their grief-struck minds, but the creature (that also appeared to have grey fur and long ears) looked an awful lot like...

"BUGS!" Daffy shouted and before one of them could do something, the duck broke into a run, all while screaming the rabbit's name at the top of his lungs.

The silhouette also started running, and in less than ten seconds, the two crashed, warping their arms around each other in a tight hug.

At that moment, Porky felt an uncontrolable smile spread across his face. All the negative feelings that had polluted his mind until then, evaporated. Instead, his heart swelled with pure and utter happiness. He also heard Elmer repeating over and over, excitedly:

"He's awive! Gwacious, he's awive!"

Letting out a joyous laugh, both of them ran as fast as they could, to hug their brothers.

Behind them, the rest of the family, that had probably heard the noise and came to see what was happening, shouted with surprise and glee, and ran right after them.

Slowly, one by one, every Looney Tune joined them in a giant, family hug that warmed their hearts and casted off their sadness.

Finally, they were all together again, and they were never ever separating.

[tofeartheunknown]

Back to December

Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Request by @caritobbg

Not edited.

I only made the call because I had no other choice. I was relieved to hear Sam's voice on the other end of the line. After all, it's been three years since I've spoken to either of the Winchester boys.

"Hello?" Sam's groggy voice caused an involuntary smile.

"Hey, Sam. It's Y/N." I heard shuffling and assumed, along with the groggy greeting, I woke him up. "Sorry for calling at..." I looked at the alarm clock, "four in the morning. Oh God, sorry, I should call back later." I apologized. I lost track of time after midnight.

"No, no. It's really great to hear from you." I could hear the surprise in his voice. "What- ah, what's going on? Is everything alright?"

I cannot deny that I've missed the brothers. In particular, the one I wanted to avoid calling at all costs. I'm not sure I could have had this conversation with him, if he would have answered the phone, that it.

"Everything's fine. Well, not completely. Listen, I'm in Denver, and there's a Demon in town. I've been here for two weeks and I can't seem to catch him. Bodies keep dropping. I've narrowed down his hunting ground, but I think I need some help here." I bit my lip, awaiting his response. I mean, come on. I was with them for five years before leaving, no phone call, text, email, or letter, then all of a sudden call and ask for help.

"Why didn't you call Dean?" Seriously? That's his response. I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped.

"You know why. Besides, he probably wouldn't pick up the phone." His grunt told me he agreed.

"Alright, tell you what. Text me what motel your staying at and I'll talk to Dean." He sounds more awake now. I hear water running and assume he's making coffee.

I couldn't hold back my shock. "Really?! That's great, thank you!" I stood from the small couch.

Sam let out a small laugh. "Yeah, no problem. We'll be there tomorrow."

"See you then." I hung up after that, hoping to finally get some sleep.

I remember that night as if it just happened. Sam, Dean, and I just finished a hunt the night before. Dean and I decided to celebrate by getting a motel room for just the two of us. Sam understood out need to be alone and assured us he would be fine by himself for the night.

"This is amazing." I mumbled, cuddling closer to Dean on the motel bed. Porky's, Dean and, coincidentally my, favorite movie was playing on the TV.

"Yeah, we haven't had time for this in months." Dean agreed, his hand rubbing my arm that laid across his torso. "Too bad we have to pack up tomorrow."

This was news to me. I didn't think there was already another case. I hoped to spend at least a few more days like this with Dean.

I sat up at looked at him "Why so soon? We just finished here." He didn't seem to notice my disappointment.

"Well, Babe, monster don't take days off." Dean said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You know that. You grew up in this life, just like Sam and me."

My disappointment turned to anger. "Dean, you said it yourself, we haven't had any time to ourselves in months. We can afford to take some time off and relaxe." I stood from the bed, my tank top and jeans lay beside my feet.

"No, we really can't." Dean's raised his voice, not enough to disturbed the rooms next to us, but enough for me to realize an argument is starting.

"Five years, Dean. That's how long we've been together, and nothing's changed! It's the same thing year after year! Is this all I'm gonna get?" I was fuming. He doesn't understand that I want more than he seems to want out of our relationship.

This isn't the first time we've had this argument. But this is the first time I lay it all out.

"What are you talking about?!" Dean asked, now sitting at the edge of the bed.

"I mean, it was fun for a while. Hunting all the time together. But that's all it is now! Sure we get these little nights, but... I need more." It's the first time I've admitted to him. "Let's be honest here, we're falling apart, Dean."

Dean scoffed, clearly oblivious to the issues we've had recently. We've drifted apart, mostly due to the fact that we haven't been on the same page in a while.

"So, what? You wanna get married now?" He asked, his arms spread and an eyebrow raised. It was my turn to scoff while pulling on my jeans.

"No, smartass! I want an actual relationship with you!" I shout, pulling my tank top over my head. I sat on the edge of the bed and shoved my shows on, not bothering with socks or tying them. I was far to upset to care.

"What do you think we've been doing all this time?!" Dean yelled, putting his jeans on, knowing I'm about to leave. " What do you want from me? I got you flowers, got us a room, and took you to dinner? I don't know what else to do!" He sounded utterly desperate for answers, watching me pack my duffle bag.

"I want to feel like I'm not the only one holding us together!" I spun around as I yelled. "It's always one hunt after the other with you! I get that it's what we do, but I can't do just that anymore!" I felt the tears fall before I felt the stinging in my eyes.

Dean followed me out the door, my bag on my shoulder. I didn't even notice Sam step out from him room next to ours.

"Where are you going?" Dean's voice was slightly panicked, our fights have never gone this far before.

"Anywhere but here." I turned back to him. His glossy eyes almost too much to handle. "I love you, but I can't live this life with you anymore. I need more than this, but it seems like you don't. I'm sorry..."

Dean, shaking his head, let his tears fall freely. "Don't do this, Y/N, please." He whispered. His hand came up to cup my cheek. I grabbed it and moved away.

"Goodbye, Dean."

I never spoke to or saw either brother after that night. Walking away has been my biggest regret. But, now I have to get ready to meet them at a diner in town.

The butterflies in my stomach are raging as I parked a few spaced down from the all too familiar impala and the two bodies leaning against it. It's now or never, and though never sounds like a much better choice, I know this has to happen.

I stepped out of my car and pulled my bag over my shoulder. Sam, unsurprisingly, was the first to greet me, walking up with a large smile. Dean wouldn't look up from the ground, knowing it was me. I can't blame him, I could hardly look at him myself.

"Y/N." Sam opened his arms, a bit hesitant, not really knowing where we stood. But I walked right into his arms fully returning this much needed hug. I really did miss this. Sam was like a brother to me, and it hurt walking away from him too. "It's good to see you." He said, pulling away.

"It's good to see you too." I smiled up at him before looking over at Dean. I do my best to control my breathing, ignoring the tightening in my chest. "Both of you." I finished, hoping the green eyes would finally catch mine. Unfortunately, it was a false hope.

"We should get inside" Dean grumbled, then he began making his way to the diner entrance. I frown, pushing against the moisture threatening to gloss over my eyes.

A hand landing on the middle of my back, I looked over to Sam who gave me a sympathetic smile. "Give him time, trust me." He assured me, guiding me through the doors Dean went through.

"The Lexicon bar" I handed Sam my notes while we waited for our food. Dean still hasn't said a word to me, and even though I expected nothing more from him, it still feels like a dumbell is sitting on my chest. Dean glanced over the papers as well, so at least he's taking this seriously. That hasn't seemed to change.

Sam handed the papers back and I slid them in my bag. "OK, so what's the plan?" He asked, shooting the waiter a short nod and thanks when he sat our food in front of us. He picked up his veggie burger, while I picked at a few of my fries and Dean didn't even touch his. If this was under any other circumstance I would be shocked.

"I was thinking I play bait." Sam opened his mouth to object, but I quickly continued speaking. "You two can keep watch and catch us as we leave. All victims were found in the back ally. All female, no specific type. All victims participated in the bars open mic, starting from ten p.m. to one a.m.. I'll go one tonight while you stake out the crowd."

"How are you sure he'll choose you?" It is the first time Dean has actually acknowledged me since they got here. My palms begin to sweat any throat grew dry. I took a gulp of my drink.

"Well I don't exactly, but I do know how I could appeal to him more." I picked at my food more, avoiding eye contact.

Sam and Dean glaced at each other. "After we finish we'll go to the motel and start preping." Sam said before biting into his burger, starting off a very awkward lunch.

"There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about Dean. I messed up. I walked away and it's the biggest mistake I have ever made. Now, seeing him, it brings everything back. I never stopped loving him, and I honestly believe that I will love him for the rest of my life. After the hunt, do you think you can take my room tonight. I need to get him alone, I need to apologize. I need to at least try to get him back. I don't want him to leave without knowing how I feel." I explained to Sam as we waited for Dean to gather the rest of what we needed for the hunt. I'm wearing a knee length (color) dress, my Demon knife strapped in it holster on my thigh.

"He hasn't been the same since you left." Sam started. "You thought he was obsessed before, he's constantly seeking out hunts now." Sam sighed, leaning against Baby's passenger seat. "He won't admit it, but these three years have been absolute he'll for him. I hear him say you name in his sleep at night." He looked at the open motel room door, watching Dean assemble his gun with devil's trap bullets, just in case. "He'd still go to the ends of the earth for you." Sam has absolutely no idea how much that crushes me, but also gives me hope that Dean will hear me out.

I wiped a fallen tear from my cheek just as Dean walked out, closing the door behind him. I've noticed the looks he's given me since I've changed clothes. "Let's get this over with." Dean mumbled while taking off his jacket. He handed it to me, knowing I was getting cold in the fall weather. I stared at it on my hands for a few seconds before pulling it on. Sam was right, he does still care. Before I could thank him he was already in the car. I got in after Sam, who shot me a knowing smile. Dean started the engine and we were on our way to the Lexicon.

Once we stepped inside our plan went into motion. I gave Dean his jacket back and made my way to the open mic sign-in sheet. There was only one other person on the list so far. I put down an alias and the name of the song I was going to perform. I've been thinking about it since we got to the motel earlier. I Taylor Swift's back to December came on the alarm clock radio as I got ready in my room. I realized how insanely similar out situation is to the song lyrics and decided it would be best to portray my feelings to Dean disguised in a song. It felt like it would be easier.

Once I got back to the boys we begin to briefly go over the plan. "Okay, Dean, when open mic starts keep an eye out for anyone talking to the participants after they sing. I'm second on the list." I explained. "Sam your on stand by at the front of the alley way out front. Dean or I will send a text when it's go time." I finished, taking a drink of the water Dean bought me, remembering that I don't like drinking on the job.

"Good luck." Sam advised, patting me on the shoulder before walking out of the bar.

"So, how are you so sure the demon will target you- and why can't we just let wait to see if he walks out to the ally with some else? Dean implored, he seemed concerned cause hope to swell some more in my chest.

"Every victim sang a heart break song of some sort." I answered, avoiding eye contact. Silence falls between us for what feels like forever, although it was about a minute. "Look, can we talk after-" Dean cut me off.

"We probably should be seen talking. It needs to look like you're here alone." Dean proceeded to take a sip of his beer before nodding over to the bar. "I'll be keeping watch at the bar." He stated, turning away and leaving me to watch him walk away. The same thing I did to him three years ago.

"Next up we have Diana Troy." The bar owner announced into the mic, holding out hit hand and helping me onto the right five by seven foot stage. I've spoken to him many times using this alias for the investigation. However, I'm not surprised he doesn't remember me he tends to take his ownership of the bar for granted most nights.

I muttered out a small "thank you," before adjusting the mic stand a bit. I tried not to think of the seventy or so eyes on me as the music started.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why"

I see that night replaying in my head exactly how it has almost every night since I left.

"Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die"

I could feel Dean's eyes without even looking for them. When mine found his the power of the chorus hit me hard.

"So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time."

My eyes never left him until the song ended. I didn't even know I was crying until a tear fell onto my arm. As people clapped I made my way off stage and to the bar. As I was almost to the bar, some one grabbed my arm and spun me towards them. Bingo. We found out guy. Or, rather, out guy found me. Though there is no proof that he is the demon, I just knew it had to be him.

He wore a white dress shirt and black pants, his eye hung a bit loose on his neck. He looked like a working man, and had trusting, kind blue eyes. His short black hair slicked back with a little gel. He had olive skin and a lean figure. He looked harmless. It took restraint for me to not pull my knife on him now. I have to wait to get him outside.

"That was absolutely beautiful." He praised, his hand still on my arm. I sniffled, wiping away the remaining tears.

"Th-thank you." I mumbled, itching to remove his hand.

"My name's Gerard. What's your story?" The Demon asks with a charming smile. My brows furrowed at that.

"What do you mean?" I thought for a moment and decided to guess before he has time to answer. "With the song?"

'Gerard' nodded, leaning against the bar. "I don't mean to pry, but you seem really upset. I can only assume the sing meant something to you." He explained, finally removing his hand from my skin.

"I-uh..." I looked at the floor indecisive of what answer to give him. I could lie and make something up, or I could just tell him the truth. It's not like I'll see him again after tonight, so what harm could it do. "I messed up. A while ago. I left the one person I loved most in my life during a stupid argument." I took a shaky breath. "I don't think I can ever find someone who made me feel as alive as he did." I knew Dean could hear every word I said. He's standing a few feet behind us and it's not like this is a whispered conversation. I need to talk to him, so I need to speed this up. "I should just go." I moved past 'Gerard' only for him to grab my hand.

"Let me at least walk you to your car." His insisted in an innocent, concerned voice. "You never know who could be out there waiting for a vulnerable women to walk past them all alone. There are some real monsters out there" He pushed, the irony gave me chills. I nodded, letting him lead me towards the side exit. I stuck to my naive role and let his guide me without protest.

As soon as the door shut behind us, I was pushed against a wall and 'Gerard's' eyes went black. "Do I look stupid?" He glared at me. I just shrugged the best I could.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I question with a raised brow. I didn't try to reach for my demon blade yet. I'm just waiting for the distraction.

The Demon put his hand up and made a fist. My throat tightened and my oxygen is cut off. I quickly brought my hands up to my throat, because that's what people do when they can't breath, even though it does absolutely nothing to help. I was beginning to panic until I heard someone yell.

"Let her go!" I was Dean's voice. I looked aver the the demon did and felt relief as oxygen began pouring back into my lungs. Dean's gun pointed towards the demon distracted him enough to let me go.

"Now, it that anyway to treat a lady?" Sam asks, standing next to Dean with his arms folded. I slowly pull the knife from my thigh holster and creep up behind the demon.

"Oh, so it's three humans against one demon I'm so-" I plunge the knife through his back watching it slice through to the other side. He lit up like a Christmas tree for second before going limp. I pulled the knife out and watched him fall onto his side. I quickly rolled him over and opened his shirt. There are four bullet holes in his chest surrounding the stab wound.

"How did you know?" Dean asks from above me. I look up to see him and Sam standing there and looking at the corpse.

"I had a feeling." I mumbled, I've learned to trust my guy over the many years of hunting; I tend to be right. "Let's clean this up." I muttered before helping Sam picked up the body and take it to Baby when Dean pulled up to the curb.

I slipped into the boys' room right after Sam left to get dinner. Dean glanced over, putting down the gun he was cleaning and standing from his chair. "Can we talk, please?" I stared down at the floor, my hands in my pockets.

"Did you mean it?" Dean's question caused me to look up. He must have seen the confusion in my eyes because before I could even respond he continued. "The song you chose. Did you choose it for me?"

I hesitated, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "Yes. Just hear me out!" I was quick to stop any protests that may come out of his mouth. "I hate myself for walking out on you. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. An-and if I could go back to that night I would have stayed. Since I left I haven't been sleeping well, I see you when I close my eyes and some night I still cry myself to sleep." I took a shaky breath, not caring to wipe my tears away.

Dean's eyes grew glossy with his own tears. "I wanted to hate you for leaving. But all I could do was hurt. People say it gets easier, but it never did for me. I've tought about you every day for three year, Y/N." His voice cracks and sobs break through my lips.

"I'm so sorry." I cried, covering my face with my hands. I was so distracted by my own pain that I couldn't here Dean making his way over to me. When I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders I just fell into him. I could tell he was crying by the way hid chest shook. I latched my arms around him tight. I never want to let go of him again.

We stood in each other's embrace for a while, feeling as thought we're the only thing keeping each other stable and upright. We we finally pulled apart we sat next to each other on the bed.

Things can't go back to the way they were, but at least now we can start picking up the pieces of one another, one day at a time. I'm never letting Dean Winchester go again.

Note- Not the best ending, I apologize , but I haven't written anything in forever, and this took me such a long time because of that.

[snickletastic]

My Heroes

warnings: violence

summary: jason, the reader, and their dog named porky go out for a late night run to the store, encountering a criminal along the way.

a/n: i know, i know. in my defense for not posting in so long, school is constantly hectic. anyways, i had some trouble writing this one, but i think it came out alright. :)

You woke up to a loud howling coming from the outside of the bedroom door. The room was pitch black, the only light coming from your alarm clock with solid red numbers; 3:52 A.M. You groaned and sunk back into your pillow, then hit your boyfriend gently on the arm.

“Jay?” You whispered, “It’s your turn to take Porky out,” you said groggily.

“Hmmmffff...” Jason mumbled, “...no.”

“You have to, Jay. He won’t be quiet.”

Jason rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling, “My one night off and I still don’t get any sleep,” His voice was raspy and deep.

“Please? I got up twice to feed him and walk him, he probably needs to go again,” you begged.

“Alright, alright,” Jason said as he got out of the bed, “We’ll go together.”

“What? That’s not fair!” You complained.

“My one night off, Y/N,” Jason reminded you as he put shirt on and grabbed a coat.

“Ugh, fine.” You pushed your duvet off and sat up, “Can you throw me my coat?”

Jason went into the closet and chose a random coat, then handed it to you. Porkchop was howling loudly from the living room, which was usually a sign that he needed to go to the bathroom. You and Jason adopted Porky last year, he was a chubby husky who was left at the vet’s doorsteps when he was a puppy. Now, he’s the loudest dog you’ve ever heard. Everytime he needs anything at all, he barks, howls, or attempts to talk. Almost every night, he needs to be taken for walks, otherwise the neighbors write passive aggressive notes and leave them in your mailbox. Dog training classes barely work, and neither did any form of discipline. After a certain point, Jason and you had grown used to the noisiness of Porky, but waking up in the middle of the night was terrible.

“Can we walk past the Wawa? I wanna pick up an iced tea,” you said as you slipped your shoes on.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Jason grabbed the dog leash from the top of the dresser and walked out into the hall.

“Porky! Be quiet already, dammit,” He said as he clipped the leash onto Porkchop, “The neighbors will kill us if they hear you at this hour.”

“Alright, I’m ready to go,” you slipped your phone in your pocket, “Nothing safer than walking around in Gotham City at 4 A.M.”

“Trust me, I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Jason rubbed Porky’s head.

After the two of you walked for a bit, you finally got to the Wawa. The bells attached to the door rang as you wiped your feet on the doormat. The ringing startled Porky, who started barking wildly at the door. “Shhhh, Shhhh,” you frantically pet his head.

The man behind the counter got visibly annoyed, “No dogs inside, we have food in here!”

Jason rolled his eyes and you apologized, “Sorry, sir,” You patted Porky on the head, “I’m gonna wait outside.”

“You sure? I’ll do it if you want,” Jason looked out of the glass doors, examining the area.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just grab me a tea, okay? And get Porky some treats,” you smiled.

“Alright, I’ll be fast,” Jason said as you took Porky outside. You stood under the streetlamp, which was glowing an artificial yellow light.

The roads were pitch black, the only source of light coming from the tall buildings that surrounded you. The moon was full and bright, indicating there were probably some crazies out there. What’s new? You kneeled down and petted Porky, who rolled onto his back for a belly rub. 

“Good boy,” you said quietly. Across the street you heard a few people having a conversation as they walked by. You looked over and saw about 4 women who looked like they just came from a club. Porky tried to run across the street to say hello, but you held his leash back. Suddenly, a dark silhouette ran out from a black alleyway behind the group of women, putting a gun up at the one in red. They all screamed and you dropped the leash in shock to cover your mouth. Porky immediately ran across the street, attacking the criminal. He bit onto his leg, tearing up his pants.

“Porky, no!” You shouted as you chased after him.

The man started to freak out, trying to kick Porky away. You grabbed the gun out of the man's hand before he could hurt the dog, quickly realizing that it was a toy. Before you could make a snarky comment about the prop, Jason appeared out of nowhere, grabbing the thug by the collar and slamming him up against the wall. You told the other women to run, and they obeyed. Jason punched the man a few times, then called the police.

“That should do it,” he said nonchalantly as he hung up his phone.

“I don’t know who was more of a hero, you or Porky,” You joked.

“He gets it from me,” Jason said as he knelt down to give Porky a hug. The dog got so excited that he peed on Jason’s boot, “Agh, quit that!” Jason recoiled.

“My heroes,” you laughed.

masterlist

[supernatural7543]

Guns and Golden Wings part 8

First off. This is my first fanfic and first time using tumblr.  I do not own anything in this except the plot. Disclaimer mentions of torture/blood and swear words. please enjoy!

One month later 

   You and Gabe were still together and he had gone on a trip. You had been hunting with the boys but there were no cases right now and without Gabe you were really really bored. You still hadn't told them about how you were dating the archangel. You just didn't know how.  Sam's voice brought you from the book you had been reading “y/n we got a hunt. Should be pretty easy want to come?” You nodded and soon you were on your way as Sam filled you in. “7 young women have gone missing and 5 of the 7 were found dead. We’re thinking ghost or dragon.” You nodded 24 hours later you found out it was a ghost and were already on the hunt. You turned the corner and saw the 2 remaining girls tied up. One was already dead and the other was in pretty bad shape. You ran to her “ we are gonna get you outta here ok?” You said and she nodded. While you were fighting the ghost something went wrong. You had put the girl in a salt circle but she stepped out, and right into the ghost’s hatchet. You gasped and ran to her. The boys finished up the job as the girl died. “ you promised.” she said before she died. Those words still ring like a bell in your ears. Sam and Dean weren't exactly happy to, they had gotten in a fight and were still pissed. You got back to the bunker and the boys started yelling at each other you could tell this was gonna get violent if you didn't do something you got in between them trying to get them to stop. That's when the punches were thrown. One hit you in the ribs and the other hit your hip. You could feel the broken ribs and was in a ton of pain. Dean pushed you out of the way and onto the ground. You had to crawl to Gabe's room. Once you got there you locked the door and leaned against it. You held the necklace Gabe had given you for your one month anniversary. Gabe. You prayed  I really could use some help right now.  The pain was getting worse and it hurt to breathe. You heard a flutter of wings and felt Gabes hand on your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open as he put his hand on your chest. You felt a warm sensation go through your body and your ribs didn't hurt any more. You got up and Gabe held you. “Who did this to you?” He asked. “Sam and Dean.” You replied quietly. You could see his anger “ they got in a fight and I got in the way.” You told him everything that had happened. Yep he is definitely mad! You thought. He laid you down on his bed and you soon fell asleep. 

                              Gabriel's pov

   He couldn't believe that they had hurt you. “Castiel you better get you feathery ass down here before I kill your boyfriend!” He growled. He walked into the room the boys were in. They sat at different tables and were clearly still mad but it was nothing compared to Gabriel's anger. They stood up and  just as Gabe started to run towards them, cas appeared and held him back. “You will be sorry for what you did to her!” Gabe yelled. The boys looked confused. “You should really watch who gets caught in the crossfire.” He glared at them. “You will be sorry!” The boy's vision started to fade and soon they were passed out. 

                            Your pov 

       You woke up and saw Gabe lying next to you asleep. You got up and went to get breakfast. Once you were in the kitchen you poured yourself a bowl of cereal. You were sitting comfortably and eating when a tall girl with long brown hair dressed in running clothes came in. “Hey y/n” they said. You stood up and pulled out your gun. The woman turned around and looked super surprised at the sight of your gun trained on her “Wow y/n calm down it's just me”  you glared at her “who are you and how did you get in here?” You asked, gun never leaving its trained position on her head. “Uhh I used the key? Y/n it's me, Sam?” She said. “Prove it tell me something about dean no one else knows!” You said. “Uhh dean's favorite movie is porky’s 2!” She said quickly. You lowered your gun. “Sam? What happened to you?” You said trying to stifle a laugh. “What do you mean?” Girl Sam asked. “Did you look in the mirror this morning?” You asked. Girl Sam shook her head. Just then another girl walked in, girl Sam pulled out her gun and the other girl whipped her gun out too. She had blondish brownish hair that was a pixie cut. She had green eyes and was dressed in an old AC/DC shirt and some plaid pants. Then another girl walked in. She was wearing a tan trench coat and her hair was shoulder length and dark brown. You were practically on the ground. You knew that it was girl Sam girl dean and girl cas but they didn't know that. “What's so funny y/n!” Girl dean yelled “ h-hi dean” you said through giggles. Girl Sam looked at girl dean “dean?” She asked. Girl dean rolled her eyes “duh and who are you?” She said you cleared your throat “ok so it seems that you all have been gender swapped. That's Sam, that's Dean, and that's Cas.” They all stared at each other in surprise. “Oh my god!!” You said “I just came up with your girl names! Samantha and Deanna and castiel. Cas’s name can stay the same.”  The boys, well girls now, looked pissed. “We  need to talk to Gabriel.” Samantha said. “Okay” you said. you all walked down to his room and knocked on the door. Gabe answered and almost fell on the floor laughing at the sight. You smiled. You loved his laugh, it was so cute. The boys/girls glared at you and him. Once you both regained your composure Deanna started yelling at you “ What the HELL did you do Gabriel!!” you both laughed a little. “Ok feathers it was funny but you should really turn them back now.” you said. Gabe turned red. “What did you do?” you asked with a sigh. “Well I didn’t use my archangel magic. I used a spell that lasts 24 hours.” he said hesitantly. You saw the girl's eyes go wide. “ you mean we are stuck like this for all fucking day?!” Deanna yelled. Suddenly she grasped her abdomen and fell to the ground. Samantha followed suit. “Augh!” she screamed “ what the fuck is happening to me?!” it took you a minute to realize what was happening. You almost fell to the ground laughing but gabe caught you. You both struggled to stay upright as the realization slammed into you like a freight train. “What AUGH are you laughing about?! This isn't funny!” Deanna yelled. You caught your breath “ you're on your period!!” you fell to the ground, body shuddering with laughter. Her eyes went wide. Samantha looked to you and then down to her parts. You ran off and when you came back you had a box of tampons and a box of pads in your arms. You gave them the boxes and they went to the restroom to clean up. You and Gabriel were sitting on the couch when the girls came back in. “ how do we stop the pain?” Samantha grunted. You tossed them a bottle of ibuprofen. “Take two pills. The pain will slowly fade away. Do not take more than two at a time.” they stared at you like you were some sort of expert on the subject, which compared to them you were. They popped the pills and sat down in the chairs opposite of you, aguasted. “ you have to go through that every month?” cas asked. She didn’t have to deal with a period because she was an angel. You nodded. “That must be horrible.” she said. You shrugged, you had sort of gotten used to it. You stood up and Gabe stood as well. He threw the girls a few boxes of chocolates before following you down the hall. When you both had gotten to your room you asked him a question. “Why didn’t you use your angel powers?” he grinned “I did. But I wanted them to feel what it was like for at least a day” he stated. You laughed. “Wow j-just wow!” he walked over and popped a chocolate in your mouth. Then he leaned forward and kissed you. You grinned. “ you just had to get some of that chocolate huh?” he smiled and kissed you again. About five minutes later you both were lying on your bed in nothing but you undergarments having passionate sex. You loved him so much. “I love you feathers.” you said. He pulled you close and whispered in your ear. “ I love you to sugar.” and you soon fell asleep on his shoulder. 

[verdigrisprowl]

Nov 27 Dancitron Movie Night - The Jungle Book

Prowl was pretty much out of it all night. His deep suspicion of singing dogs and his inability to tell dogs from other mammals made the movie more unpleasant than it otherwise would have been.

Prowl is baffled at how long it takes people to be considered fully mature in Soundwave’s universe. Then again, he was sent off to become a police officer at like five days old.

Today ItsyBitsySpyers 7:50 pm *Soundwave's itching to move again, but there's no way he's doing that right now - so he's just sitting on his usual couch with a feeler lightly tapping in time* *Drinks and snacks where they usually are, minis where they usually are, all that.* Swoop 7:51 pm *is comparatively clean, put together, and stapler gun free tonight* Swoop 7:53 pm *scoops up a huge stack of snacks and toddles on over to Bird* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:55 pm *Soundwave is thankful for that. His mind is six places tonight and none of them are handling Crazed Dinobot Toddler Shenanigans.* *Bird is jamming out to the music right now, but she'll somehow fit popping the occasional treat into her mouth into it all, along with a whistled greeting* Swoop 7:56 pm *is all giggles and heart-eyes while he bobs along with Bird* Specs 7:56 pm *what's this? a whole cartful of treats! who wants mercury drops, energon truffles with soft silver centers, and cookies with delicate mercury and silver additions?* Bevel 7:58 pm *trundles in* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:58 pm *ZORI DOES! Brave scorpion leap from the nearest couch back onto the cart 😄 * *Frenzy waves yo to Bevel* Bevel 7:59 pm *waves* Specs 7:59 pm Help yourself, friend! 😄 *it's always nice to see people snacking happily* Bevel 8:00 pm Thanks! *will take something with mercury and join the twins at the usual table* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:01 pm #thank you #:D

*He will try to pick up a cookie that's like 1/4th his size and hold it overhead with his pincers. It won't quite work. Bonk to the head and startled beep.* Specs 8:02 pm *the dragon will try not to grin at how adorable Zori is* You okay there? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:02 pm #oh yes #I am fine #can you break this? #please? *Holds the cookie out* Bevel 8:03 pm *dances a little in her seat to the music* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:03 pm *Frenzy and Rumble join in a little. They're tired, but if their seatmate is dancing, why not?* Swoop 8:04 pm You Bird good dancer <3 Bevel 8:04 pm *grins* Specs 8:04 pm I can! *the dragon delicately snaps the cookie in half* Again, or is this good? *she probably should have worn gloves for this. oops.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:04 pm {{Best dancer!}} Preen preen. Swoop 8:04 pm Best EVERYTHING! Magnum Ace 8:05 pm -pings Soundwave for permission- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm *Zori holds the cookie up one more time to compare it to himself and whistles happily.* #it is good! #thank you~ *Soundwave casually pops a bridge open for the Leaguers, about fifty feet from the door just to be safe.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:06 pm *Little arachnid mouthparts nom nom nomming that cookie while still on the tray. It's a good viewing point. He'll watch from here.* Specs 8:07 pm Always happy to help out a friend! *the dragon delicately brushes residue off her paws while trying to be subtle about it. she licks those sometimes, better not have energon on them when she does!* *she'll sit near the tray. Swoop probably won't crush her here, and she gets to hang out with her favorite scorpion! win/win* FakeProwl 8:08 pm *shows up, sits down, props his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, zones out.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:08 pm ((10 minute warning, grab your snacks and stuff)) Magnum Ace 8:08 pm -and he's going to trot through the bridge- Bull 8:08 pm *Follows in after Magnum* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm *Soundwave pings Prowl hello before resuming the tiny timing taps.* Magnum Ace 8:11 pm -time to find a seat- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:11 pm [[Greetings, you two.]] Magnum Ace 8:11 pm Hello, Soundwave Bull 8:12 pm Hello. *he waves up to the bigger mech* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm [[How are your sports events going?]] Swoop 8:12 pm ((do i want Cheetos or ice cream)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:13 pm ((both)) Swoop 8:13 pm ((sick)) Magnum Ace 8:13 pm ((BOTH Swoop 8:13 pm ((LOL)) Bevel 8:13 pm *likes this songs greatly* Swoop 8:13 pm ((well the audience has voted and it is a clear tie. I suppose I must.)) ((mint ice cream and white cheddar cheedos)) ((pregnant food)) Magnum Ace 8:13 pm ((haha! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:13 pm ((just needs a pickle)) Swoop 8:14 pm ((I have olives)) Magnum Ace 8:14 pm ((that works Specs 8:14 pm ((I didn't know this song was real)) FakeProwl 8:14 pm ((... did you think it was a fake song...?)) Specs 8:15 pm ((to be entirely honest, I put it in the category of "shit I made up in my sleep")) FakeProwl 8:15 pm ((oh lmao)) Magnum Ace 8:15 pm Our games are mostly practice ones right now Specs 8:16 pm ((some songs just show up when I'm sleeping and get stuck in my head, there's one that's like "I need an SOS you'll be my SOS" and I don't think that song exists, and there's others too)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm [[Ah. You are not battling actual teams right now?]] *Listen to him. Battling. Like it's an arena match. Clearly not a sports mech.* FakeProwl 8:17 pm *mumbles* Playing. Magnum Ace 8:17 pm ...they're games, not warfare ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm ((i know three songs about SOS's)) Swoop 8:18 pm *shoves an entire handful of goodies in his face like the mannerless child he is* Bull 8:18 pm *Bull Armor knew that some they had been through could be considered 'battles' but says nother* Bevel 8:18 pm ((there's also a band called the S.O.S. Band)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm *Soundwave looks over to Prowl, briefly confused before he realizes it's about how he worded things.*

[[Oh. Yes. Playing.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 8:19 pm ((OKAY warnings... tbh i don't remember, i watched this months and months ago. fire and violence and tigers threatening to eat kids and bees and falls from heights and things like that.)) Swoop 8:20 pm ((sounds like swoop's day to day life)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm ((i am pretty sure y'all have at least seen the old one, not terribly different)) Magnum Ace 8:20 pm But, yes, mostly practice right now ((m'kay! Swoop 8:20 pm ((Not only have I seen the old one. I've seen the video my parents took of me as a toddler ROCKING OUT to the Bear Necessities. I'll never be able to escape that dance.)) Bevel 8:21 pm ((lol ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm ((i have learned something new and powerful today)) [[May your practices be promising for the coming matches.]] He's pretty sure matches is still the right word. FakeProwl 8:22 pm *mumbles* Games. Specs 8:22 pm *the dragon's eyes widen* It's so green. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *Ravage pops his head over the bar, then runs over to Soundwave to park himself on the empty side of the couch. He knows this. There's a him in it.* Bull 8:23 pm Thanks, it'll be awhile til we play another game. Swoop 8:23 pm Him on Dinobot Island? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm *Damn. Still wrong.*

[[Games.]] Magnum Ace 8:24 pm Thank you, but as Bull said, our season is over for now. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm {{Nooo, no Dinobots.}} Swoop 8:24 pm No Dinobots on Dinobot Island NOW. Decepticons broke island. Us leave. FakeProwl 8:25 pm *absent-mindedly pats Soundwave's knee, then props his chin up again.* Specs 8:25 pm They're fuzzy, there must be snow SOMEWHERE... Swoop 8:26 pm ((thank goodness there's no steeljaw here, they would have got a howl going)) Specs 8:27 pm *the dragon hums contemplatively. how could anything be so dry?* Swoop 8:27 pm Oh, him a .... porky pine. Kehehhh. It like Him Snarl. Poke! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:27 pm *Amused huff at the knee pat. At least Prowl was polite about correcting him.*

{{This long ago time story, no Dinobots.}} //Looks like you, Frenzy.//

\\I LIKE IT.\\ Specs 8:28 pm *the dragon gasps delightedly at the crocodile* It's a cousin! ...Well, kind of. No wings on it. Swoop 8:28 pm No Dinobot > : Them thirsty Swoop 8:30 pm You Bird not a good wolf. You tricky! Keheheh! Specs 8:30 pm *giggles* Hatchlings are all the same, aren't they. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm {{Peh, wolf.}} Swoop 8:30 pm Wolf lame. No flying. Specs 8:33 pm What a good docent. Swoop 8:33 pm Why tiger mad? Magnum Ace 8:33 pm ..... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm @Prowl: (txt): Tired today? Specs 8:34 pm *gasps again at the crocodile* Weird wingless cousin! I hope it lives. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm [[Humans do not belong in their spaces.]] Swoop 8:34 pm Why? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm #what is cousin? FakeProwl 8:34 pm @Soundwave «Yes.» Bevel 8:35 pm He said a human hurt him. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:35 pm *Small acknowledgment nod. He'll try not to be too taxing today.* Swoop 8:35 pm So? Specs 8:35 pm Most, well, dragons, aren't furry like me. Still the same shape, mostly. Four legs, thumbs, wings, tail, head. And most of our kinds can't make viable eggs together. So we call each other cousins. Specs 8:37 pm *gets a little emotional about the docent. that's the best of what a docent is supposed to be, poor wolf* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:37 pm #the Bagheera is a cousin? #to Ravage? Swoop 8:37 pm *rolls over so he can sprawl out properly with the goodies set out in front of him and his chin in his hands* Specs 8:37 pm *looks over at Ravage* *looks back at Bagheera* I think you should ask him. Magnum Ace 8:38 pm -coughing laugh at the cousin question- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm =...Passable.= Swoop 8:39 pm *flicks his wings* There birds in movie? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm {{Maybe. We see.}} Specs 8:39 pm *the dragon smiles a little* That's our answer, Zori. Magnum Ace 8:40 pm !!! Swoop 8:40 pm *perks up* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm =Memories.= Swoop 8:41 pm Him going die kehehh Way too slow FakeProwl 8:41 pm *Prowl's rooting for the dog that looks like Ravage.* Specs 8:41 pm *the dragon, too, is supremely confident that Bagheera will win that fight* Magnum Ace 8:41 pm -it's like him attempting to outrun Mach Windy, insane- Swoop 8:41 pm ((long live the king)) Magnum Ace 8:41 pm ((SWOOP NO Bull 8:42 pm Kid; please stay away from the horns. *knows how dangerous they can be* Specs 8:42 pm He did not stay away from the horns. Swoop 8:42 pm KEHEH! That fun. Me Swoop jump on other Dinobot that way before. GRAB! Magnum Ace 8:42 pm He apparently decided to do just that Bull 8:43 pm At least their horns don't move. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm *Ravage paws the couch in thought.*

=Hm. Stripes. Should find him. Speak.= Magnum Ace 8:43 pm True. That would have been bad ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm *Soundwave gently strokes Ravage's back. They will look for him later, when this is over.* Swoop 8:45 pm ((jesus christ)) Bull 8:45 pm ! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm #D: #no! #why? Magnum Ace 8:45 pm -startled upright- Swoop 8:45 pm *cackles* DEAD Specs 8:45 pm *the dragon barely blinks* Because that's how people with more teeth in their skulls than brains solve problems. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm *Zori tries to burrow into the cookies.* Swoop 8:46 pm *rooolls over onto his back, giggling, then spreads his wings out as far as they will go for maximum floor coverage* *tosses a treat up for Bird* Specs 8:46 pm *she carefully covers Zori with cookies. he is safe. she will fight anyone who bothers him* Whirl 8:46 pm *trots on in, heading for the usual table. Are Shovel and the Gang seated there tonight?* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:46 pm *Nom nom treat!* Bevel 8:46 pm *they are* Swoop 8:46 pm *makes grabby hands at Bird* Magnum Ace 8:46 pm -reaches over to pat at Bull- Bevel 8:46 pm *waves to Whirl* Whirl 8:46 pm *excellent; he will bob his head at his table buddies as he sits* Magnum Ace 8:47 pm -best to not look- Specs 8:47 pm *the dragon hides her head under her tail at all the drowning* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm *The twins will punch Whirl hello. Zori will whistle and wave* Swoop 8:48 pm You Soundwave always pick movies with no flying! Kehheh. Them have wings, them have nooo problem! Whirl 8:48 pm *he accepts and welcomes the punches; Zori will get the greeting-beep in response* ((o boy. the most hilarious miscast of the film)) Specs 8:48 pm Waterlogged wings are a bit of a- *gasp* A skin! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm //Ew. What the frag.// Swoop 8:48 pm Lidard Whirl 8:48 pm ((i like scarjo but her voice was a bad fit for thissun)) Swoop 8:48 pm *Lizard Bevel 8:49 pm Skin? Specs 8:49 pm Usually you are supposed to eat those, really. There's too much you lose by leaving them out in the open. Well, so the cousins say. I don't shed my skin. Whirl 8:49 pm *peers at the dragon* Is that what you do? Just. Shuck it all off sometimes? Oh, well, nevermind. Question answered. Bevel 8:49 pm I thought skin kept organic organs inside? Specs 8:50 pm I think it helps with healing their scales? I'm not very clear on that. I know my skin is more elastic than theirs would be. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm \\MAYBE SOMEBODY KILLED IT.\\ Specs 8:50 pm It would have color if it was killed! That's just the top layer, I think? I'm not sure how that works. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm //Heh! I like whatever these fraggers are.// Swoop 8:50 pm Keheh them STEAL Bevel 8:50 pm *laughs* Whirl 8:51 pm Sneaky little glitches. Heh. Specs 8:51 pm *the dragon has to laugh too. what a trick!* Whirl 8:51 pm I guess that's how you weaponize cuteness. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm //Wouldn't know nothin' bout that, would we?//

{{No~}} Specs 8:51 pm *the dragon fluffs her fur out and looks at Whirl with them big ol eyes* Weaponized cuteness? What's that? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm @Prowl: (txt): Why tired? Rest disturbed? Swoop 8:52 pm Oh It snake ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm *Chimera flaps down from above, intrigued by the appearance of a snake, and has a minor explosion to reform itself appropriately. Mimic them, and all that.* Magnum Ace 8:52 pm .... Whirl 8:52 pm *regards her, deadpan* Something that doesn't work on me. Bull 8:52 pm That's a big snake. Whirl 8:52 pm *a lie, it does. Zori defeated Whirl with his cuteness alone* Specs 8:53 pm Damn. *the dragon looks back at the snake* Do those live in trees, on earth? They look like things that live in the oceans where I live... Swoop 8:53 pm Eyes Magnum Ace 8:53 pm Glad we didn't run into any on the island Specs 8:53 pm ...They don't do that, though. Swoop 8:53 pm Fire Bird Bird Look, them live in cave too Magnum Ace 8:54 pm There's the explanation FakeProwl 8:54 pm *It takes him a moment to register the question.* @Soundwave «... More or less.» Whirl 8:55 pm Oh, hey. Didn't know Ravage was in this movie. Bevel 8:55 pm Ha Swoop 8:55 pm Kehehh Him touch teeth Specs 8:55 pm *blinks, and looks at Ravage* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm @Prowl: (txt): Source? =What.= FakeProwl 8:56 pm @Soundwave «Insomnia.» Whirl 8:56 pm ((speaking of hungry pythons it's Jerry's dinnertime)) Swoop 8:56 pm Nose Specs 8:56 pm ...Actually, nevermind. *the dragon looks back at the screen* FakeProwl 8:56 pm ((that's definitely a bear, it sounds the same as in skyrim)) Specs 8:56 pm ((jerry! jerry! jerry!)) Swoop 8:56 pm Him live in cave tooooooooo Specs 8:56 pm That's what those scaly noodles do. They coil. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm @Prowl: (txt): Unpleasant. Assistance required-wanted? Swoop 8:57 pm HIm kid ask lots, lots of question ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm <<The Kaa is a serpent. The Kaa is not food.>> Whirl 8:57 pm *was that Chimera speaking? How rare; Whirl looks over* Magnum Ace 8:57 pm Oh He's sending him after a beehive That's a bad idea Specs 8:58 pm Sorry, Chimera. I meant that as shape, not as edibility. *the dragon blinks* Winter is not coming. There is no snow. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:58 pm *Chimera's first third is swaying in the air while they process the existence of the Kaa.* Specs 8:59 pm *the dragon offers Chimera a pat* Bevel 8:59 pm *trying to figure out if Kaa is bigger than Chimera* FakeProwl 8:59 pm @Soundwave «... None available.» Magnum Ace 8:59 pm -pokes Bull- -cover your eyes- Swoop 9:00 pm bumblebees ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *That was a much... MUCH bigger snake than they are. But they may be able to learn how to protect themselves by squeezing. As soon as they finish thinking about the idea.* Specs 9:00 pm *the dragon stares at the beehives in fascination* Are those edible? ((I love that line)) Bull 9:00 pm ugh... heights Specs 9:01 pm Well, clearly THAT'S edible. Whirl 9:01 pm Just about anything is edible if you're determined enough. Swoop 9:01 pm ((gross lol)) Bevel 9:02 pm *will put a hand out for Chimera if they're interested* Magnum Ace 9:03 pm -nudges Bull again- It's safe ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm *Soundwave tilts his helm - he could interfere with the schedule if Prowl needed a few days to try to find recharge - but if Prowl says none is available, he will not push the matter. Prowl knows himself.*

*Chimera slithers around Bevel's arm and enters energy conservation mode.* Swoop 9:04 pm propaganda Specs 9:04 pm *the dragon cackles. she likes this movie* Bevel 9:04 pm *best kind of jewelry* Whirl 9:04 pm Welcome to the best table in the house, Chimera. *gestures expansively* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm *Optic flicker.*

<<Thank you, the Whirl. Why is it best?>> Bevel 9:05 pm Because we are all here! Whirl 9:05 pm All the coolest people are here. Hell yeah, Shovel gets it! Bevel 9:06 pm *grins* Swoop 9:06 pm tricky Specs 9:07 pm Winter is a long time away. I can't believe there's no snow. *winces. the poor docent.* Swoop 9:07 pm Him Tiger eat puppies ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm <<The shapeshifter is warm.>>

[[The less snow, the better.]] Swoop 9:07 pm Oh there birds Bull 9:07 pm I have a bad feeling... Magnum Ace 9:07 pm . . . Bevel 9:08 pm Not nice. Whirl 9:08 pm Figure of speech. It means, basically, awesome. Specs 9:09 pm *winces again* I hope the docent doesn't die. Swoop 9:09 pm *chirps back at the screen* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm //So that's what kinda Earth bird the 'Beak is. Huh.// Swoop 9:10 pm kehehehhh Him bear lazy Whirl 9:10 pm *snickers* Swoop 9:10 pm like Snarl ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm *Raspberry* Specs 9:10 pm *the dragon wiggles and taps her front paws* FakeProwl 9:11 pm *There's music. Why's there music.* *IT'S A SINGING DOG.* Bevel 9:11 pm ((omg ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm ((i'm dying)) FakeProwl 9:11 pm *Prowl can't escape them.* Swoop 9:11 pm *giggles* Specs 9:11 pm *the dragon tries to sing along, but she is a bad singer and has never heard this song before. please bear with her* Swoop 9:11 pm *tosses a treat in the air for himself* Swoop 9:12 pm ((fucking brutal XD)) Specs 9:13 pm ((destroyed)) *snickers* *bagheera's like a docent version of ravage* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm *Just about as cranky too.* Swoop 9:14 pm Why cat mad? Bevel 9:14 pm Tricks? Specs 9:15 pm *hums the bare necessities song- badly* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm [[The bear is ruining his plan to move the human to the human land.]] Magnum Ace 9:15 pm Because the one he was protecting was played as a fool Swoop 9:15 pm Cats can tricky. Ravage tricky. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm *Ravage flicks his tail and sticks his nose in the air, optics closing briefly. Yes. Yes, he is.* Specs 9:16 pm ((elephants don't growl)) Whirl 9:16 pm Those things're cool. Specs 9:16 pm They look a little bit like one of the cousins, too. But not very. They don't have long tails, or wings. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:18 pm [[Why they do not kill the tiger and allow the human to stay and assist is beyond him.]] Swoop 9:18 pm It baby elephant Specs 9:18 pm ((bear dad and panther dad)) I can't imagine that Bagheera would lose to the tiger. Whirl 9:18 pm Honestly, yeah. The tiger's big, but there are a LOT of them. Maybe even trick him into that snake's pit. Bevel 9:19 pm Even if Bagheera could not beat him, I bet everyone together could. Whirl 9:19 pm Yeah. Especially now that Mowgli's done those big guys a favor. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm [[The... elephants? Are enormous beasts. Surely a stampede would destroy the tiger.]] Whirl 9:19 pm They could definitely take the tiger in a fight. Bevel 9:19 pm They could do it as thanks for saving the baby! Specs 9:20 pm Mmm. They're big, but size isn't everything. Magnum Ace 9:21 pm They're all scared of the tiger Whirl 9:21 pm It's not, but it doesn't hurt to be huge. *he would know, he is huge* Magnum Ace 9:22 pm His large reputation keeps them at bay Specs 9:22 pm It doesn't hurt to have teeth, and claws, either. Whirl 9:22 pm ...huh. Swoop 9:22 pm Kehehhehhhhh Them grab Specs 9:22 pm And, clearly, thumbs help too. Magnum Ace 9:22 pm That too, but I bet the reputation is what keeps the larger animals at bay ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm =Thumbs are overrated.= Whirl 9:22 pm Agreed. Swoop 9:23 pm Him Ratchet say thumbs in medbay *flops his wings around* ' Specs 9:23 pm Not everything in the universe can be as awesome as you two, however. Us lesser beings need thumbs. Whirl 9:23 pm That's fair, that's fair. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm {{Him Ratchet smart medic, you listen.}} Swoop 9:23 pm Kehehhheheh Me know Bevel 9:23 pm *wiggles her thumbs absently* Swoop 9:23 pm Him best medic ever Specs 9:25 pm After all, a universe full of Ravage and Whirl? That would be... *wracks her brains for the word she's looking for* indescribable. Whirl 9:25 pm It would be loud. Swoop 9:25 pm Kehehhh Specs 9:25 pm Ravage isn't loud? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm //Naw. That's a universe fulla Frenzy.// Whirl 9:25 pm I'm loud enough for me AND Rava-PFFT. Swoop 9:25 pm Flying way way better than climb Whirl 9:25 pm Frenzy is loud enough for all the rest of us put together. He's a damn professional. Swoop 9:26 pm ((i am excite)) Specs 9:26 pm Some dragons climb glaciers without using their wings, Swoop. *the dragon huffs a little, though. she thinks it's stupid too.* Magnum Ace 9:26 pm ? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:26 pm =Me. Loud.= Scorn snort. =Never.=

\\EVERYBODY GOTTA HAVE A LIFE CALLIN'.\\ *Frenzy puffs his chest out.* //Needs more cowbell, I guess.// Whirl 9:26 pm ((omg)) Swoop 9:26 pm ((NEEDS MORE COWBELL)) ((o m f g )) Specs 9:27 pm ((moar cowbell)) Whirl 9:27 pm Holy--he's even BIGGER. That Tiger wouldn't stand a chance. Magnum Ace 9:27 pm ....they're not supposed to get that big Specs 9:27 pm I don't think he can leave that building... He's too big. Bevel 9:28 pm That is a really big monkey. Swoop 9:28 pm ((YES)) Specs 9:28 pm ((he's the mobster orangutan)) Swoop 9:28 pm Him King? Magnum Ace 9:28 pm They're not supposed to get that /big/ Specs 9:29 pm *giggles* Ears in his ears! Swoop 9:30 pm (( OH MY GOD)) ((this is actually the best)) Whirl 9:30 pm Well. Specs 9:30 pm *wiggles and taps again* you--o-o-o Whirl 9:30 pm His singing could definitely kill the tiger. Swoop 9:31 pm Him want fire a lot... It not hard. *blows just one little puff of a flame that goes right out* Magnum Ace 9:32 pm ... Bevel 9:32 pm *laughs* Swoop 9:32 pm ((that squint is so walken)) Specs 9:32 pm *the dragon giggles too* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm *Rumble dims his visor and affects a hoarser voice.*

//But, now ya come to me, and ya say, "King Louie, give me papayas." But ya don't ask wit' respect. Ya don't offer red flowers. Ya don't even think to call me Gigantopithecus. Instead, ya come into my ruins on the day you're s'posed to go to the village, and ya ask me to give fruits for nothin'.// Bevel 9:33 pm *giggles* Specs 9:33 pm *cackles* Whirl 9:33 pm *BURSTS OUT LAUGHING* FakeProwl 9:33 pm ((PFFF)) Swoop 9:34 pm *doesn't know why we are laughing but laughs anyway* Whirl 9:34 pm Nice, Rumble. A classic. Bevel 9:34 pm Monkey army. Specs 9:34 pm It's like a sport. Whack-a-monkey. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:34 pm //We gotta do that one some t-- aw yeah, monkey fight.// Magnum Ace 9:34 pm !!! Whirl 9:34 pm Not a bad Brando either. Specs 9:34 pm If he's big enough to break rocks, he's big enough to kill a tiger. Whirl 9:35 pm And yeah, we should. Maybe we can swing another Culture Club sometime. Yeah, he'd pulverize that tiger. Swoop 9:35 pm Why them say human has fire? Him not dinobot. There no human fire. *pats his throat* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm {{Humans make fire.}} Specs 9:36 pm *the dragon attempts to imitate the monkey squeaking* Swoop 9:36 pm Not MAKE. Not ... *lacks words so he just pats his mouth* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:36 pm {{Noooo, them use sticks. Little wood.}} Swoop 9:36 pm Monkey can't wood? Specs 9:36 pm Oh. Swoop 9:36 pm KAHA! Dead. Magnum Ace 9:37 pm ..... Specs 9:37 pm This is why you don't live in buildings too big for you. Swoop 9:38 pm Him not so fast. Cat catch. Magnum Ace 9:38 pm He's got a long head start though ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm {{Them monkey not knowing how make wood-fire.}} Swoop 9:39 pm Why not? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:39 pm {{Nobody teach.}} Swoop 9:39 pm Ohh Okay Windchill 9:39 pm *Is LATE to a movie with FIRE?! Wow what a tragedy.* Whirl 9:40 pm See, this is how you get revenge. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm [[This will not end well.]] Bevel 9:40 pm If he runs too fast that fire will go out. Swoop 9:40 pm FIRE! kehehh Whirl 9:40 pm Burn absolutely everything to the ground and annihilate your enemy. Windchill 9:40 pm *Time to sit his booty down.* Specs 9:40 pm Get revenge by consuming your foe and everything they created. Whirl 9:40 pm *bobs his head at Windchill* Swoop 9:40 pm Him burn cat. Tiger. Whirl 9:40 pm Yep. ...maybe literally, depending on who you are. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm [[There it is.]] Magnum Ace 9:41 pm .... Bevel 9:41 pm Oh no. Whirl 9:41 pm pretty sure my pal Blurr takes "consume your foe" to a whole new level. Windchill 9:41 pm *Does the Pocahontas wave and takes a seat.* Magnum Ace 9:41 pm -doesn't like Blurr much, thanks- Windchill 9:41 pm Look at all of those pretend animals. *snorts* Magnum Ace 9:42 pm ....... Swoop 9:42 pm ((OH MY FUCKING GOD CHILD)) Whirl 9:42 pm Damn right. Magnum Ace 9:42 pm ((damnit kid Specs 9:42 pm Why doesn't he just attack Shere Khan? Windchill 9:42 pm He's wearing a diaper? Wow what a baby. Whirl 9:42 pm Nothing wrong with being the scariest thing in the jungle. Windchill 9:42 pm I'm impressed. Swoop 9:43 pm Him burn everything Magnum Ace 9:43 pm ((gdi kid Whirl 9:43 pm I mean, I'd do exactly what the tiger asked. Windchill 9:43 pm *chinhands.* *Wolves are overrated but okay.* Specs 9:44 pm I agree. The tiger wants to be destroyed? Fine by me. Whirl 9:44 pm Should've burned him when he gave you the chance. Swoop 9:44 pm Him bear lazy. Not lots of fighting. Tiger better. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:44 pm *Ravage snorts. Being a wolf and having a pack didn't save the lupine Steeljaw from him and the others.* Windchill 9:45 pm Pathetic. Bevel 9:45 pm Ha, distraction. Magnum Ace 9:45 pm -shouldn't they be trying to put out the fire?- Specs 9:45 pm *the dragon giggles a little. get him, earth ravage!* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:45 pm *Hiss.* Swoop 9:46 pm Everything burning really fast for GREEN leaves and stuff. Whirl 9:46 pm If the fire's hot enough, I guess. Windchill 9:46 pm Can he even breathe up there? Specs 9:47 pm Things being dry helps. But I can't imagine he can breathe up there. I couldn't, anyways. On the other paw, I would also probably be on fire, so. Windchill 9:47 pm Or see. His eyes would be watering enough to put out the fires all by themselves. Swoop 9:47 pm Being on fire pretty fun Windchill 9:47 pm Unrealistic. Specs 9:47 pm You're made of metal, Swoop. I am not. Swoop 9:48 pm Fire fun for everyone : > Magnum Ace 9:48 pm The tiger is not paying attention to danger Specs 9:48 pm ... *the dragon scoots away from the dinobot* Magnum Ace 9:48 pm He's too focused on revenge And no, fire is not fun for everyone Windchill 9:48 pm What the heck kind of tree looks like that? Kinda cool. I mean, for a tree. Specs 9:49 pm Ravage's cousin said it was a fig creeper? Windchill 9:49 pm *Maybe he'll look it up later.* Magnum Ace 9:49 pm -says the mech who sets one of his pitches on fire- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm =Poor hunter. No calm.= *Even in the prison riot, Ravage kept his cool while slaughtering the guards.* =No patience.= Windchill 9:50 pm Dirty boys. Swoop 9:50 pm That bad perch Magnum Ace 9:50 pm Dead tree Swoop 9:50 pm Creak creak Specs 9:50 pm That's why your cousin should have beaten him. u_u Magnum Ace 9:50 pm It's going to break Swoop 9:51 pm KAHHAHHAHH DEAD Specs 9:51 pm Dead. Whirl 9:51 pm Nice. Windchill 9:51 pm I guess he was flammable. Bevel 9:51 pm He won with tricks. Specs 9:51 pm If he's furry, he's flammable. Trust me. Swoop 9:51 pm Swing over fire look fun : > ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm *Half-squint. Good. That would have been a fine lesson, if the tiger were Cybertronian. Too bad he's a flesh creature.* Bevel 9:51 pm Really good trick. Windchill 9:52 pm Ah yes, the fire that conveniently douses itself. Oh never mind, there it is. Kinda. Swoop 9:52 pm Bird Me Swoop want swing to play Whirl 9:52 pm ((the lick. bless)) Specs 9:52 pm ((bless panther and bear dad)) Windchill 9:52 pm Um. Bevel 9:52 pm ((I didn't notice that the last time Specs 9:53 pm *the dragon giggles a little. look at those proud docents. it's adorable.* Windchill 9:53 pm That is a giant baby elephant. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm *Soundwave leans forward a little. Are they building a-- they are. How fascinating. Do actual elephants do this?* Magnum Ace 9:54 pm Oh, wow Specs 9:54 pm Go clean off the hatchling, docent wolf. Windchill 9:54 pm Yeah okay. Swoop 9:54 pm There lot of wolves not lots of other animal who they eat Windchill 9:54 pm The wolves ate everyone else already? Swoop 9:55 pm kehehe, maybe! Specs 9:56 pm *gentle gasp* Docent wolf is the leader! Bevel 9:56 pm Or they mostly stay away. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm #:O #he did not go away! #that is a good end #I like it Swoop 9:57 pm ((oh, does he not go back in this one?)) Specs 9:57 pm *wiggles and taps* It looks like he doesn't, Zori! Windchill 9:57 pm Oh my god. Magnum Ace 9:57 pm That was...interesting Swoop 9:57 pm *bounces* Windchill 9:58 pm *Is that...it must be.* *His one true fear.* Bull 9:58 pm It wasn't too bad. Windchill 9:58 pm *CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.* *Goes bugeyed in horror.* Specs 9:58 pm *gets to gently flapping wings along with her boogeying* Bevel 9:59 pm *nods along to music* Magnum Ace 9:59 pm -settles again- Windchill 9:59 pm *What manner of evil is this?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:59 pm #rude!! #they were walking! Swoop 10:00 pm KA! Book catch him. Windchill 10:00 pm *Horror has settled into a kind of annoyance.* *Finally, it's gone.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm [[Ah. So this is where this song is from.]] Windchill 10:01 pm Well. That was a movie I guess. Swoop 10:01 pm That movie pretty good. Even if no birds. Or dinosaurs. Or both. Windchill 10:01 pm There was a peacock. Swoop 10:01 pm Yeah Windchill 10:01 pm That's a bird. Swoop 10:01 pm but Windchill 10:01 pm I think. Swoop 10:01 pm him not do anything Windchill 10:01 pm That's true. Lazy bird. Swoop 10:02 pm Kehheh Bird not laaaaaaazy Her busy busy with eating keheh ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm *Soundwave idly wonders if the serpent was telepathic. That eye trick was impressive.* Windchill 10:02 pm *Uses every last iota of control to not roll his eyeballs.* Eating is a good thing to be busy with. Swoop 10:03 pm yup Windchill 10:03 pm What if... I eat you? Swoop 10:03 pm No Specs 10:03 pm *the dragon stretches out* I think it's time to go back, before Whirl's friend eats me. Goodnight, everyone! *pat for Zori! pat for Chimera!* Swoop 10:04 pm Me Swoop keheh Me bite YOU Windchill 10:04 pm Yeah, I might just. Swoop 10:04 pm noOoo ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm *Zori bleeps a goodbye, waving a pincer.*

#thank you for the cookie Windchill 10:04 pm Up and start eating people without warning. Whirl 10:04 pm Seeya, dragon. Swoop 10:04 pm That Grimlock thing kehehh Windchill 10:04 pm It could happen. Swoop 10:04 pm You not king Whirl 10:04 pm Windchill, I'm hoping you have enough self-control not to devour my friends. Windchill 10:04 pm *Waves at the retreating tasty morsel.* Specs 10:04 pm Always a pleasure to make cookies for my favorite micron. Seeya, Whirl! Windchill 10:05 pm Do you see me actively eating your friends right now? Whirl 10:05 pm *bobs his head goodbye* Windchill 10:05 pm They don't even look tasty. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm *Tiny gasp! Zori is a favorite? He's just gonna wiggle.* Whirl 10:05 pm No, but just because you're not up to doing something ridiculous NOW doesn't mean you won't later. Windchill 10:05 pm Well. Whirl 10:05 pm I know you too well. Windchill 10:05 pm To be fair. Swoop 10:05 pm *streeeeeeeeeeeeetches all his scrawny limbs out in many directions* *wings everywhere* Windchill 10:05 pm I haven't eaten anyone in a long time so it's either not really a problem, or I'm overdue. I guess we'll see. Wait. No. Do greyfaces count as people? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm [[Only some of them.]] Swoop 10:06 pm lots of people has GREY face Windchill 10:06 pm Oh, well. I've definitely eaten a few of those. Bevel 10:06 pm Greyfaces are annoying. Windchill 10:07 pm They don't mess with me much anymore, so. It paid off. Whirl 10:07 pm I don't count 'em as such, nope. Bull 10:07 pm 'Greyfaces'? *Bull Armor looks curious. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm [[Yes. They do seem to be quiet these days.]] Pause. [[He's not sure that is a good thing. It never has been before.]] Magnum Ace 10:07 pm They're annoying Windchill 10:08 pm Let's just say that I'm probably not planning on eating anyone. It's not really healthy for me. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm //Greyfaces. Y'know, the weird little grey things poppin' up sometimes, doin' 'n sayin' weird scrap.// Swoop 10:08 pm Not healthy for THEM kehhehh ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm //Pow, 'n suddenly you got baseballs for eyes or somethin'.// Magnum Ace 10:08 pm Bull, the three days I couldn't practice was because of them Bevel 10:08 pm They do not bother me. *pleased* Windchill 10:08 pm Swoop's got the right idea. FakeProwl 10:08 pm *hears his name, looks up* ??? Bull 10:08 pm I have not run into any of them before. *unless they were talking about Sharky-dorgs* Swoop 10:09 pm Me Swoop have LOTS of right idea FakeProwl 10:09 pm *... no wait, that was "pow," not "Prowl." zones out again.* Windchill 10:09 pm I don't know about that, kiddo. Oh wait, excuse me. Swoop 10:09 pm :V Windchill 10:09 pm Not kiddo. Whirl 10:09 pm They've turned me into a bird at least once. Windchill 10:09 pm You're a big boy now. Swoop 10:09 pm Yah me Swoop have BIRTHDAY Whirl 10:09 pm But that was kinda fun, to be honest. Windchill 10:09 pm You're an old fart now! Swoop 10:09 pm Yup ItsyBitsySpyers 10:09 pm {{Bird remembers Whirlybird. Neheheheh. Skritches.}} Swoop 10:09 pm Me Swoop am 33 YEARS now Whirl 10:10 pm *immediately squints at Laserbeak. How dare you* Magnum Ace 10:10 pm I've heard they also turn you into humans on occasion Whirl 10:10 pm *but I mean. U right* Windchill 10:10 pm The bird was...I think I slept through most of that. Did I? Swoop 10:10 pm Scritches? 😮 Windchill 10:10 pm *Looks mildly alarmed.* Swoop 10:10 pm *where are they he wants the scritches* Windchill 10:11 pm *Windchill has claws he can scritch like a DEMON.* Bevel 10:11 pm They turned my creator into a human once. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm *Fight her, Whirl. She has a Dinobot.* Swoop 10:11 pm *is a dinobot* Whirl 10:11 pm *you know whirl would happily fight a dinobot* Windchill 10:11 pm *Windchill would fight anyone.* Whirl 10:12 pm I'm not going to remind you of the things you said when I was a bird. Windchill 10:12 pm *Doesn't mean he would WIN, 'specially not on purpose. But he would fight.* Whirl 10:12 pm Not being able to talk was a little irritating, but I could taste, so... even trade. Magnum Ace 10:12 pm They sound like they cause chaos Windchill 10:12 pm I remember I kissed your bird head. And the deposit made in my mouth. Swoop 10:12 pm Whirl was bird? Whirl 10:12 pm Also being the same size of these mooks *sidelong glance to the twins* was a novel experience. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm [[They are helpful on occasion.]] Windchill 10:12 pm That's about it. Whirl 10:12 pm Briefly, yep. Thanks to the greyfaces. Swoop 10:13 pm *flaps his wings* Fun HUH? Magnum Ace 10:13 pm Helpful? What I've heard is mostly...not Windchill 10:13 pm *Has noticed that they seem to be listening to real music.* Bull 10:13 pm *is even more confused* Windchill 10:14 pm I don't think I've met a helpful greyface in my life. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm [[Oh, yes. Now and then one of them will act on a shred of kindness. They have assisted him a few times before.]] Whirl 10:14 pm Oh, yeah. Analogue flight is great. I had the best of both worlds--analogue wings AND rotor arrays. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm *Rumble snorts.*

//You oughta be our size more often. Get away with LOADS more scrap, heh.// Swoop 10:15 pm *grins at whirl* wicked Windchill 10:15 pm Granted, seeing as I've taken to killing them when they piss me off, which is all the time, they're probably not much inclined to be nice to me. Whirl 10:15 pm Just goes to show you how good I am at getting away with stuff now, while I'm huge. *smugly* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:15 pm *Rumble's mouth opens and closes for a moment before he just shrugs.*

//Yeah, I can't argue that. Like, at all.// Magnum Ace 10:16 pm . . . All right then... Whirl 10:16 pm *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:17 pm *Soundwave thinks back to how he used to handle some of his worse greyfaces and looks over at Prowl. Too bad he can't ever talk about it. It would probably amuse the mech to find out an alternate was responsible for convincing him to stop.* FakeProwl 10:17 pm *~oblivious~* Magnum Ace 10:17 pm So...will they stop if I ignore them? Windchill 10:18 pm ...Maybe. Bevel 10:18 pm Or they might get worse. Swoop 10:18 pm Bird Windchill 10:19 pm Smushing 'em's easier. Magnum Ace 10:19 pm . . . Swoop 10:19 pm *is oblivious to the soundrack of his future playing in the background* Magnum Ace 10:19 pm I'm not as large as almost /all/ of you ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm *There's reasons he's not using the ones with video footage. That's for another night.* Windchill 10:19 pm Greyfaces are small. Whirl 10:19 pm They go away eventually. I haven't seen one in a long, long time. Magnum Ace 10:20 pm So ignoring them should work? Swoop 10:20 pm Bird, you see grey magic stuff before? Windchill 10:20 pm It's worth a try. Bevel 10:20 pm I only saw them when I was a newbuild. Magnum Ace 10:21 pm -he'd rather not be on the bench for three or more days again- Windchill 10:21 pm But if they rain dildos on your head or make you bleed from your unmentionables...don't say you weren't warned. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm {{Lots, many many. Them bother Boss most timing, not Bird much. Quiet now. Questions, not many trick.}} Magnum Ace 10:21 pm What and what? Windchill 10:21 pm ... Let's just say that I have a reason to kill them on sight these days. Several reasons. Magnum Ace 10:21 pm ? Swoop 10:22 pm Oh. Neat! Me Swoop.... umm.... dunno... *legitimately cannot recall if this is a thing that happened before to him, given that he's from a pretty batty universe to start with* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[He prefers the ones who ask questions.]] *Taps his leg, thinking.* [[Not that the inhabitants of the multiverse aren't capable of bizarre or unpleasant things all by themselves.]] Bull 10:22 pm .... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm [[But at least they have never convinced a small horde of sentient insects to crown him their king.]] Windchill 10:23 pm *Feels personally attacked.* Bevel 10:23 pm *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm *Glance at Bevel. He hears you.* Swoop 10:24 pm *glances over at the speakers and feels kind of weird, can't explain why, he's just glad the song is over* Bevel 10:24 pm *giggles harder* Windchill 10:24 pm Anyway, greyfaces are generally stupid and do the same things over and over. Magnum Ace 10:25 pm ..... Windchill 10:25 pm *Or, would if he hadn't put a dent in their population.* Magnum Ace 10:25 pm I really have no idea what you are talking about. But okay Windchill 10:25 pm That's probably a good thing. Swoop 10:26 pm *scrunches up his nose* what noise? Windchill 10:27 pm *Tries to not snicker at Swoop's face.* *Fails.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm [[Music.]] Swoop 10:28 pm *rolls his optics at soundwave* Windchill 10:28 pm Him Swoop no like? Swoop 10:28 pm Me Swoop like HER BIRD music : > ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm [[Then you can attend the next newbuild night to listen to it.]] Bevel 10:29 pm I like it. Swoop 10:29 pm Me Swoop not NEWbuilt. Me 33 now. Windchill 10:30 pm That's right. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm [[You are under two million. You are a newbuild.]] Magnum Ace 10:30 pm ... Windchill 10:30 pm Our little baby is...*makes a dramatic show of wiping away a tear.* ...all grown up. I'm so proud. Swoop 10:30 pm Two million is SOOOO MANY! Magnum Ace 10:30 pm -RIGHT! Not going to ask ages now, they have to be up early tomorrow- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm \\HE'S *YOUR* KID? THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH.\\ *Ask them ages next time. It'll be a hoot.* Windchill 10:31 pm No, thank Primus. Well. FakeProwl 10:31 pm *at some point, Prowl gradually became conscious of the fact that there is not, in fact, a movie playing anymore.* Windchill 10:31 pm I mean. Magnum Ace 10:31 pm Soundwave? Can we get assistance home now? Bevel 10:31 pm *welcome to the after party, prowl* FakeProwl 10:31 pm *he started picking up on the conversation again somewhere around the time Soundwave said that anyone under two million was a newbuild.* Windchill 10:31 pm If he were he probably wouldn't have turned out like that, so you're mileage may vary. FakeProwl 10:32 pm *looks at Soundwave like that's the wildest thing he's ever heard.* *admittedly, his "that's wild" face is a 😐 face, but still.* Swoop 10:32 pm Two million SO SO MANY Magnum Ace 10:32 pm -he will and probably just /stare/- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm [[...What? No it isn't. Not here.]] Windchill 10:32 pm Is it? *Legitimately doesn't know.* Swoop 10:32 pm Uh huh Windchill 10:32 pm Huh. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm *Looks at Prowl. How is that surprising? You know how old he is.* Windchill 10:33 pm I've been told a million is a lot. FakeProwl 10:33 pm *you're considered a newbuild until you're TWO MILLION?* Magnum Ace 10:33 pm ...... FakeProwl 10:33 pm *TWO? MILLION?* Magnum Ace 10:33 pm Wait Wait, hold on Two million years? Swoop 10:33 pm Me Swoop aaaaaaaaaaalmost 50! That a loooootttt, Soundwave. Not a newbuilt. Bevel 10:34 pm My creator is like fifty million. *she might have added a couple million there* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm //So's Bird.//

{{NO! Not fifty!}} Mutter mutter sounds like forty-something. Bull 10:34 pm Million? ... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm \\WE'RE LONG-LIVED, BUDDY.\\ Swoop 10:34 pm How old Bird is? *giggles* Magnum Ace 10:35 pm I can tell. Bevel 10:35 pm *waves her hand dismissively and grins* Close enough! FakeProwl 10:35 pm ... I'd spent over half my life at war when I hit two million. Windchill 10:35 pm Is a gazillion a big number? *He's heard that one before, too.* Magnum Ace 10:35 pm . . . Can we go home now? FakeProwl 10:35 pm In your universe, mechs aren't even considered competent to make their own decisions until then? Bevel 10:36 pm We can make decisions before two million! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm [[Your timeline is shorter. He would not count y-- one moment.]] To the Leaguers: [[There will be a bridge waiting outside when you are ready to take it. Try not to dwell on the age matter too much.]] Magnum Ace 10:36 pm -nods- Okay...and thank you Swoop 10:37 pm Two million toooo maaanyyyy. Me Swoop can kill mech TODAY. That grown up thing. Bull 10:37 pm Umm, thanks. Maybe see you guys next week. *waves* Bevel 10:37 pm That is because it is different in your universe. Magnum Ace 10:37 pm -scrambles down and out. Time to get home- Good night Windchill 10:38 pm *Waves because it's polite to acknowledge people or something to that effect.* Swoop 10:39 pm Me Swoop want to see Bird doing music thing LOTS! Not wait for Neeeewbuilt Night. That for BABIES. Windchill 10:39 pm Oh... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm [[Where was he... two million. Yes. Technically it is one and a half million years, but with so many records missing and different planetary schedules he finds it easier to check a whole number.]] Windchill 10:39 pm So that means I can go? Swoop 10:39 pm (( every time swoop says the word baby or babies, he WILL say it like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFzXIplizck )) Bevel 10:40 pm *not going to dwell on the fact that she's been fighting and killing since she figured out how to really transform* Windchill 10:40 pm (( Oh my god. )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm //How old are ya, Windchill?// Whirl 10:40 pm ((omg im sorry if anyone said anything to whirl i got distracted by an extremely cute beetle)) Swoop 10:40 pm *was conceived for badass 80s murder specifically and has no idea what adult night could possibly be where he isn't allowed to attend* Windchill 10:40 pm Wheh? FakeProwl 10:40 pm ((share it)) Windchill 10:40 pm (( I saw ur beetle post I would be distracted by that precious nibbler 2 )) Uh. I don't do math and so don't know how old I am. Swoop 10:41 pm Bird, Bird. Tell Him Soundwave that Me Swoop not a baaaby. Me can do ANYTHING. Dinobots can do anything! And listen to Bird music is a thing! Whirl 10:41 pm (( http://megaweapon.tumblr.com/post/167964851515/thebabys-exoskeleton-has-darkened-completely-now )) Windchill 10:41 pm It's a mystery...it's history... Whirl 10:41 pm ((uhh that didn't... paste quite right bit ot's a video of the beetle being cute)) FakeProwl 10:42 pm ((what a cute)) Whirl 10:42 pm Yeah, I was grown long before I was two million, too. Swoop 10:42 pm You Whirl tell Soundwave too! Tell Him that Me Swoop can go to Dancitron on NOT Newbuilt Night. Windchill 10:42 pm *Furrows his brows.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:43 pm @Prowl: (txt): What reason, surprise? [[It is his business. He will restrict you to the night he considers appropriate.]] Swoop 10:43 pm :V Bevel 10:43 pm I am two million so I do not have to go to newbuild night anymore. *she really should go to Dancitron on a regular night sometime huh* Swoop 10:43 pm What APPROPRIATE? Whirl 10:44 pm Pfft, as if, Swoop, this isn't MY house. Swoop 10:44 pm Dinobots NEVER appropriate Windchill 10:44 pm *Snorts.* Hell yeah, that's the right attitude. *He's never appropriate either.* Whirl 10:44 pm *looks to the twins* How old're you two, anyway? If you told me, I've already forgot. FakeProwl 10:44 pm @Soundwave «That seems an absurdly long time for a person to be blundering about too cluelessly to be trusted to handle his own life.» Swoop 10:45 pm *back swoop up here, prowl* *LetTheDinoDrink2018* FakeProwl 10:45 pm *oh no, you should absolutely not be trusted around narcotics of any kind* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:45 pm //We're, uh... 20 million?// \\18 MILLION.\\ //Frag it. Somewhere in there. Busted chronometers, y'know.// Death'll do that. Windchill 10:45 pm *Briefly wonders if he might be a baby by comparison to anyone else...decides not to worry about it.* Swoop 10:46 pm *whines* Biiird Bevel 10:46 pm You were dead? Windchill 10:46 pm *He's pretty sure that he's older than Swoop, so good enough.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm {{Bird never dead, what you talking about? Peh.}} Swoop 10:46 pm ((windchill and swoop at newbuilt night)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:47 pm {{What Swoop?}} Whirl 10:47 pm Well. ...damn. Bevel 10:47 pm *so confused* Whirl 10:47 pm That's a long time to be alive. *what an INTELLIGENT AND THOUGHTFUL RESPONSE WHIRL* Swoop 10:47 pm Me Swoop want to listen to You Bird. Newbuilt Night, no Newbuilt Night. : < Whirl 10:47 pm *he's honestly a bit flabbergasted* Windchill 10:47 pm (( That would be...bad. )) Bevel 10:47 pm I guess. *shrugs* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:47 pm {{You swoop Newbuild. You go that night.}} Swoop 10:48 pm 💔 *u cut him deep bord* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:49 pm @Prowl: (txt): Not blundering. Soundwave explains; patience requested. Windchill 10:50 pm *Crosses his legs.* FakeProwl 10:50 pm *acknowledging ping* Swoop 10:50 pm : < Windchill 10:51 pm Numbers schmumbers. Swoop 10:51 pm yeAH Windchill 10:51 pm *What.* Swoop 10:51 pm Me Swoop can do anything 2 million year bot do : < Windchill 10:51 pm Except display a modicum of common sense or rational decision making. Swoop 10:52 pm You meet Huffer? kehehhh Windchill 10:52 pm ... Does he do drugs? Bevel 10:52 pm Huffer whines a lot. Windchill 10:52 pm I would too, with a name like that. Swoop 10:52 pm Huffer get smack a lot kehheeh For say dumb stuff AT bots Windchill 10:53 pm Wow. He gets smacked...for saying dumb stuff? Swoop 10:53 pm Yup Windchill 10:53 pm Huh. Bevel 10:53 pm That is mean. Windchill 10:53 pm I wonder how much of MY life that explains. *Not enough of it.* Actually. Swoop 10:54 pm Him Grimlock say Him eat Huffer but Huffer kehhh Huffer probably give tank ache kee Windchill 10:54 pm Most of my recent smackings are for putting my mouth on Whirl so that's warranted. Whirl 10:54 pm Damn right. Windchill 10:54 pm Yeah. That's how I consent to being smacked. Swoop 10:55 pm (( my personal favorite huffer pic http://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/4/4f/DivideandConquer_shutupHuffer.jpg )) Windchill 10:55 pm I ask for it. Whirl 10:55 pm Don't YOU get any bright ideas, neither. *peers at Swoop* Bevel 10:55 pm *can't argue there, she's punched bots for similar* Swoop 10:55 pm Bright idea? Windchill 10:55 pm (( BEautiful. )) Bevel 10:55 pm ((omg Ironhide plz FakeProwl 10:56 pm ((i looked at optimus's chest and i first i thought that was a nightmarish upside-down reflection of optimus's face)) Bevel 10:56 pm ((his whole hand fits over his face i can't Whirl 10:56 pm If you didn't get it right away, I ain't explaining. Bevel 10:56 pm ((i did too puff Swoop 10:56 pm Him bite you? Windchill 10:56 pm I think what Whirl means to say, is...don't have any ideas at all. *Gasps in faux offense at this insinuation.* Windchill 10:58 pm *As if Windchill has ever been anything but a gentle lover.* Swoop 10:58 pm ??? Whirl 10:58 pm I don't know who you're asking what, at this point. Windchill 10:58 pm *Except when he's not and legit bites people.* Swoop 10:58 pm *points to windchill* Him bite you *points to whirl* Whirl 10:58 pm Nope. Why the hell would he BITE me? Swoop 10:59 pm *cocks his head, has no idea what we're talking about oanymore* Windchill 10:59 pm Because you're so tasty, Whirl. I just can't help myself. Whirl 10:59 pm Don't you start spreading rumors about me. Windchill 10:59 pm Mmmmhmmmm. Bevel 10:59 pm Ew. Windchill 10:59 pm *Licks his lips grossly.* Sorry. Old habits. Whirl 10:59 pm Ugh. Windchill 11:00 pm I love rumours. They're like a disease. Swoop 11:00 pm *blows raspberries at this whole conversation* Bevel 11:00 pm *...not sure if she imagined that apology, what's in this drink?* Windchill 11:00 pm Anyway. Swoop 11:01 pm Bird! Me Swoop want to go play. With you! Windchill 11:01 pm I'm hardly the one spreading rumours when you've got everyone lined up to feast on your corpse the moment you kick the bucket. Has nothing to do with ME. Whirl 11:01 pm I've got exactly ONE PERSON. Windchill 11:02 pm Yeah, and he's lining up. I'd eat you if you'd share. So selfish. I mean. Think about it. I could eat you and you would be a part of me. /Forever./ Bevel 11:02 pm *gonna pet Chimera instead of being part of this conversation yep* Whirl 11:03 pm That's horrifying. Windchill 11:03 pm I know. Whirl 11:03 pm And my cue to leave. This has officially gotten too weird for me. *streeetches* Windchill 11:03 pm I have a macabre sense of humour, I can't believe you haven't noticed already. Whirl 11:03 pm Catch you losers later. Bevel 11:03 pm Night, Whirl! Windchill 11:03 pm Bye, sucker. Have fun with your space boat... Without me... FakeProwl 11:04 pm *if Bevel wanted to avoid the conversation, she should have planned ahead like Prowl and not gotten adequate sleep for three weeks. It makes it very easy to zone out.* *although, admittedly, very hard to do anything else.* Windchill 11:04 pm Actually it'd be cool if you showed some pics sometime. Whirl 11:04 pm When it's actually fixed up I'll invite you lot over, or something. Windchill 11:05 pm That's fair. Swoop 11:05 pm Bird. Me Swoop want to stay with You :X Windchill 11:05 pm Maybe I'll even bring that butt I owe you. You can mount it on your dashboard. That would be fun to explain. Whirl 11:05 pm Y'know, I think I'll pass on THAT... but you did just give me an idea. Bevel 11:06 pm *like pay attention to the movie but she'll consider it in the future* Windchill 11:06 pm You're welcome. I honestly haven't found a butt yet. Since MINE isn't good enough for you. *turns up his noseless face. Snubbed.* At this rate I'll probably have to resort to killing someone to take their butt as a trophy. Which is horrible. Whirl 11:07 pm Sorry, I'm very selective about my butts, mech. Windchill 11:07 pm You're not sorry in the slightest. Whirl 11:08 pm Okay, fair. I'm not. *hops up* Windchill 11:08 pm It's okay, I forgive you. *Shoos Whirl away. Shoo!* Windchill 11:10 pm *Is honestly more shocked that nobody seems to have a problem with him killing someone to steal their butt than anything.* Swoop 11:11 pm *would kill for shits and giggles so...( ** Bevel 11:12 pm *has killed for money?* *or whatever counts for money in some universes, energon, ship parts, whatever* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm @Prowl: (txt): Underworld traversed after creation. Dangerous terrain, horrific creatures, strange mechs. Blundering survivors: rare.

Aboveground, decisions made. Purpose, rank, location. Transfers effected. There, additional knowledge given. Work, social, life navigation, government propaganda... last, most required. All more, if high caste.

Low caste mechs often released early. This, not considered problem - dead unfinished low-caste newbuild: unimportant, replaceable.

Soundwave believes all deserve full time. Second opinion: Soundwave's timeline: ancient; much learning required. Survivors: experienced warriors. Time understanding, navigating new society, learning self-protection: vital. This, neutral zone. Safe place. Soundwave refuses assistance, situations: fresh faction persuasion, war restart; association without appropriate identity awareness; potential mental, physical, legal endangerment; other.

If exception requested, source: Prowl timeline mech, personal judgment formed Windchill 11:12 pm *Disgusting, all of you.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm Span differences already known. Here, two million rule: firm. Swoop 11:14 pm *is going to eat this entire dish of treats one after another while staring at Bird, play with him gdi* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm *WHOO now i can read what i was missing* Bevel 11:14 pm *mercenary thank you* Swoop 11:14 pm ((writing a book there cro)) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:15 pm ((there's a lot of HC behind his rule and i have to condense it and then condense it more into his speech ;; )) Windchill 11:15 pm *Probably killed more people, if you count organics, than anyone in this room, by virtue of being a Decepticon. Still judging you for not judging.* Swoop 11:16 pm ((no rush! I'm rewatching that video with the SICK Lucio player with King of Swing for the song lol)) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm *Soundwave would contest that claim, but frankly he'd rather not bring up how much death he's personally responsible for. And Prowl can make his own claim, though Soundwave would suspect he's sort of the hands-through-someone-else variety.* FakeProwl 11:17 pm @Soundwave «... It takes you a full two million years to learn the bare minimum needed to function well enough to go to a regular bar?» *That sounds to Prowl like either pathetically weak learning retention abilities or an extreme disregard for the basic intelligence and competence of mechs who had reached maturity but had yet to reach an arbitrarily high benchmark to qualify for adulthood.* Windchill 11:17 pm *It's okay because Windchill can't count.* *So we'll never know.* Swoop 11:17 pm *is at a crippling murder disadvantage by virtue of his age and the small number of surviving Cybertronians at the tme of his birth and would be SO OFFENDED if this was part of the conversation out loud* FakeProwl 11:17 pm *Prowl will make no claim because it would involve jumping into a conversation he isn't even hearing.* Bevel 11:18 pm *Bevel doesn't take anything Windchill says seriously so she won't judge anything he says as she's pretty sure it's a lie to get someone to react* Windchill 11:18 pm *One day, Swoop, one day.* *He tells the truth most of the time. Short of the rhino sweat incident and some stupid thing he might have said last week.* *It's complicated.* Bevel 11:20 pm *so many conversations not actually happening ha* Windchill 11:20 pm *It's for the best.* Whirl 11:20 pm *slinks off* Windchill 11:20 pm *YELLS.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:20 pm *The twins wave as Whirl goes* Windchill 11:20 pm BYE SUCKERRRRR. Bevel 11:20 pm *you're still here?* Swoop 11:20 pm *licks this dumb plate clean* Windchill 11:21 pm *Sniffs.* Bevel 11:21 pm *no wait there he go* Windchill 11:21 pm *Wipes away another tear.* I'll miss him... *Hand over spark.* I'll never forget you, Whirl. Bevel 11:23 pm *gently coaxes Chimera awake* I have to leave now and I do not think Soundwave will let me take you home. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:24 pm [[It will do them good to be around others who do not mind them. Go ahead.]] Bevel 11:24 pm Awesome 🙂 Swoop 11:24 pm *chirps* Windchill 11:25 pm *Makes a face.* Bevel 11:26 pm *then she will be taking her new arm band and heading out, but not before bidding everyone goodnight and waving* Windchill 11:26 pm *Waves casually.* Swoop 11:28 pm *pat pats at Bird* Me Swoop want to play now ItsyBitsySpyers 11:28 pm {{We go.}} Swoop 11:28 pm : > Kaaaay *follows Bird off to whatever Activity she picks* Windchill 11:29 pm This feels anticlimatic. I feel...hungry. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:37 pm @Prowl: (txt): Soundwave stated two million years considered maximum. Reminder: Most time spent before: government. Importance reduction: severe. Society also broken, changed; less learning time required.

However, Soundwave's duty: protect patrons. Cannot perform, defend self/business if established guideline: ignored, new risks: ignored. Therefore, all elevated, level: former full high caste time requirement.

*Small shrugs. It was the best he could do for himself and the newbuilds with how the world has changed.* Windchill 11:38 pm *Time to FEED.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:39 pm *Take some of the snacks with you. There's always tons of them, thanks to Laserbeak's appetite and the dragon's supplying.* Windchill 11:39 pm *Probably not on people.* *Nope.* Windchill 11:41 pm *Has been perpetually starving since the war began, it's easier to forego snacks altogether than test his self control and risk eating all of them.* FakeProwl 11:41 pm @Soundwave «... That's still a massive maximum.» Windchill 11:41 pm *THAT WOULD BE GREEDY.* Windchill 11:42 pm *He has enough guilt to deal with without adding that nonsense to it.* *Creeps out like a creeper.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:43 pm *Soundwave pings Windchill goodnight as he leaves.* Windchill 11:43 pm *Ew, he's been spotted.* *FLEES.* *Flees RUDELY.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:47 pm @Prowl: (txt): Remedy's age: 83 million. Alpha Trion--

*Never mind how old Soundwave thinks that mech actually is.*

--Older. Soundwave's belief: native newbuilds coping capability: high.

Noted side benefit: peaceful club nights. Death threats, brawls, unpleasant historical descriptions: rare. Good balance. FakeProwl 11:50 pm "Coping capability"? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm (txt): Rule acceptance, fuss: minimum. FakeProwl 11:52 pm ... You're... saying they have an unusually high natural inclination toward unquestioning compliance? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:53 pm (txt): Negative.

*And he looks vaguely alarmed by the idea, sitting up straight.*

(txt): Suggestion: If expected lifespan exceeds twenty times restriction length/higher, restriction length: minor inconvenience. FakeProwl 11:54 pm ... You're suggesting that youth are patient? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:55 pm (txt): Prowl knows comparable alternative location? FakeProwl 11:55 pm ... Location? *when did they switch from talking about ages to talking about places?* Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:58 pm (txt): Affirmative. If visitation desire: retained, comparable location: unknown/inaccessible, patience: enforced.

*Pause.*

(txt): Unless comparable location BUILT. Permitted, difficult, unlikely. FakeProwl 12:01 am ... Oh, you're talking about permission to visit your bar. No, I don't c— I'm not talking about that. I'm just, trying to get a grasp of your universe's conception of maturity. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:11 am (txt): Difficult. Known, understood framework: outdated, unrelated, irrelevant. What importance, full Vosian political behavioral knowledge, proven handling ability? Vos: ruined. Political structure: gone. Titles: unimportant. Negative. Alternative: Underworld escape success? Basic wilderness survival skills possessed upon emergence; nothing else known.

Total time after ceasefire, initial newbuild reappearance: <5 years. New concept not possessed. FakeProwl 12:13 am But even as it was before your war, I can't get my head around— Here, let me illustrate this. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:13 am *Settles in to listen.* FakeProwl 12:14 am *And when he says "illustrate" he means "use math," of course.* FakeProwl 12:15 am The oldest mechs in your universe can reach, from the sound of it, around a hundred million years. Is that a fair estimate? A hundred million for you, and for my universe—as far as we know—it's more like ten million. So based on our known recorded histories, your mechs max out at about ten times older than my mechs. Ten times. But it takes your mechs fifty MILLION times longer to be considered matured. FakeProwl 12:17 am So, even taking the proportional ages of mechs in your universe and in my universe into account... I'm—I'm trying to figure out what you spend all that time doing. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:32 am (txt): Education, practice, social connection, monitored activities; all extended lengths. In false memories, many centuries practicing single skill until perfect. Time spent not problem when upward mobility, personal activity choice: minimal.

(txt): ...That, if fortunate. Majority not included. Recall statements: "low caste mechs often released early", "low caste newbuild: unimportant, replaceable". Well always creating. Brief instruction, basic knowledge, early removal/termination. [][][]All that time[][][] expectation: not long, if theirs. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:34 am *In other words, if you were lucky you did what you were always going to do over and over and over because nobody else was vacating their position. And if you weren't, it didn't really matter.* FakeProwl 12:39 am Yes, I heard the part about the low caste mechs. It's unfortunate but irrelevant to my point. When I said fifty million times longer, that's ALL our mechs—including the very top of the social hierarchy, the mechs that probably got little gold stars next to their alt-modes in the Grand Cybertronian Taxonomy. Our proto-senators didn't spend any more time being prepared for the world than our flashlights, and—by the sound of it—that time was shorter than even your most oppressed. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:52 am (txt): Perhaps Prowl's timeline efficiency: higher, stagnation: lower? Similar events achieved within span fraction.

(txt): Perhaps two million years not true required time reflection. Instead, average time between upper caste position vacancies. Then, stalling, new maturity line required.

(txt): Perhaps direct math: nonapplicable. Earth horses, walking within minutes. Earth humans, full year.

(txt): All unknown. Apologies. FakeProwl 12:56 am ... Maybe. *vaguely, to any and all of the above.* Sorry, I—don't think I'm... equipped, currently, for speculating on all this. *How many times had he had to ask Soundwave to clarify what he was saying? Forget trying to make sense of WHAT Soundwave was saying, Prowl was barely keeping up with HOW he was saying—* *He'd forgotten to give Soundwave permission for telepathy. The whole night. He goes very still, and turns his optics off. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.* ... I should go home. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:59 am *He will return the light knee touch, though it's more of a rest than a pat. Patting seems like it'd come off as patronizing right now.*

(txt): If Prowl desires. Recharge: important; age discussion postponement: acceptable. Rest. Soundwave sees soon. FakeProwl 1:01 am *Recharge. Yeah. That'd be nice.* Evening. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:02 am (txt): Goodnight. FakeProwl 1:02 am *And with that, he disappears.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:06 am *Soundwave opts to spend the night on the couch, and after about an hour spent wondering why Prowl has insomnia instead of getting to sleep himself, he'll pull the generator out and tuck it close by. Uneasy rest happens after that.*

[takesuhigher]

okay, i can’t sleep and i was thinking what if i have another crazy dream and don’t remember this one, so i’m just gonna do this now.

i’m in a car with my parents and brother and we all work at lowe’s. we’re all wearing blue vests (why blue? i’m pretty sure i’ve seen my dad in a red vest before?? guess i’m not sure) and we pull into the parking lot. my dad tells me my results are going to be delivered today and they’ll need to know if i wear satin underwear or cotton. apparently they were going to deliver these results to my dad at work and this was vital information somehow. i get really angry because that’s nobody’s business but then i decide it isn’t that big of a deal and the results are more important. “cotton!” i yell. the doctor’s office is right next door though. there didn’t seem to be any conversation about it, we’re just going directly to the doctor instead. not sure where my mom went but now it’s just me, my dad and my brother. my dad gives me $10 so i can pay. i tell them to go away because i don’t want them hearing my results. this waiting area was the exam room though so that was weird because there’s a patient about to be seen facing my dad and brother. i go over to the doctor (who, irl, is actually the lady at the dentist office who takes the payment. i thought nothing of her working in a gynecologist office in my dream) and ask her for my results.

“it says you don’t want kids because you can’t decide between a girl or a boy.”

huh? i look at the computer screen and it says that i can’t decide between “26 and 21.”

my jaw dropped, i’m stunned. i’m pissed. i can’t believe what i’m seeing and i think, “that’s not true! i chose 21.”

she doesn’t ask for payment so i keep the money. i don’t tell my dad.

now we’re outside walking to work but it’s not lowe’s anymore. there’s a display in the window. there are boxers with miz’s face on them. “i want underwear with miz’s face on them,” i say. then i go inside, but i think i must’ve walked through the window because i’m walking over the stuff on display. notebooks with miz on them! gotta have them but when i picked one up, it wasn’t miz so i put it back. now i’m not sure where my brother is but my parents go to one of the clothes sections. we’re in a department store, like jc penny or something. i step in the main aisle - no longer a department store, i’m in walmart - and i see a lady on my right heading in my direction. she’s got a bag of groceries in her left hand and she’s holding a big bag of corkscrew noodles in her right arm. kinda holding it like it’s a baby. she doesn’t have a very good grip on it. it’s slippery and i think, “i hope she doesn’t lose it.” there was absolutely nothing between that and me now carrying the bag of pasta. “i have to turn this into someone because this lady is gonna relize she dropped it and is gonna come back for it.” this has now become my mission.

i take the bag to where my parents are. we’re in a department store again. i look at the clothes. nothing good. i go over to the checkout area and there’s a woman already talking to the kid at the counter. she’s holding a single uncooked corkscrew noodle and is concerned. wants to make sure it gets back to its owner. my turn. i explain to this guy how the lady will be coming back for these noodles. it’s very important. he doesn’t care at all. i keep pleading my case and he gives in, probably just to get me to leave. he scans the bag with one of those handheld scanners and immediately sees that the bag has been reported missing. now he sees just how important it is.

i ask my dad where i should take the noodles.

“there was a guy in a vest when we first walked in. he’s the manager. take it to him.”

it’s a pretty short walk, though my surroundings are walmart again. turns out he’s not the manager and directs me to another person. i don’t trust these people. i decide i’m just going to go to customer service and turn the bag in.

so, i’m walking down the main aisle. everything on my left is walmart. everything on my right are stores, like you’d see in a mall. i walk and walk and walk. it feels like i’m walking forever. i go into a restaurant. it’s a bunch of wooden booths. it’s empty except for a black mom with her little boy. i approach and the little boy goes to sit with his mom. i took a wrong turn. i gotta get outta here. i climb over their booth, which is in the shadows and i think, “i can barely see them.” i step over the wall of this booth and walk back towards the main aisle. turn right, continue on. so much walking. i’m not tired from the walking, but i’m very aware of how long this is taking. there’s customer service. “there’s no way they’re gonna be able to help me,” i decide, and so i keep walking. so much fucking walking. i get to the end. it’s a giant food court. i’m starving. all the menus are on the ceiling, big print. everything sounds so good. but i’ll stick with the safe bet, what i know i’ll like and it’s quick and easy. i approach a guy eating pizza in front of the pizza place counter. i avoid eye contact and then i look at him and say, “i’d like a slice of pepperoni pizza…please.” he goes behind the counter, gives me the pizza and i pay with the $10.

okay, i made a mistake. i have to go back to customer service. so, i begin walking again. eating my pizza. i finish and finally, i can see customer service. but then, about twenty feet in front of me to my left, a man walks out of a door. there’s a man behind him with a gun. i think this asshole is gonna rob the place. the jewelry department is to my right, i head over there to hide. a male shopper sees the man with a gun and pulls out his own gun. he’s gonna stop him. a second shopper pulls out his gun and i think, okay, they’ll deal with this. it’ll be over in a second.

the bad guy ends up running through the jewelry department, shooting his gun. i get down low to hide. no big deal, i’ll just move out of the way. “it’s so easy NOT to get shot,” i think. luckily he doesn’t see me, runs right past me. everyone is panicking and evacuating. the bad guy, being chased by the two other guys runs towards the food court… and people run in the same direction. why is everyone freaking out? i don’t really understand the chaos. my parents are way on the other side of this place, so they should be safe. let me just turn these noodles in and then i’ll go find them.

so many people running. ugh. i get pretty close to customer service and then i’m outside. it’s nighttime. i’m on the left side of the road, walking. cars zipping past me, trying to get out of harm’s way. i don’t recall holding any noodles. i start running. faster and faster. there’s a car next to me. i can see the speedometer. 80…90…100 mph. I’m running so fast. “I’m like The Flash,” i say. (very strange, me running. i can never run in dreams.) my energy runs out. not because i’m tired though. it’s like i lost the speed force. can’t run anymore. now i’m on the right side of this road. it’s light out.

fuck, the bad guy is right behind me in a car, being pursued by the two men in their own cars. i run into a clearing on the right hand side to get out of the way but the bad guy sees me. he’s on an ATV with a shotgun. he’s not as thin as he was when i first saw him. he’s a bit porky, white guy, wearing sporty sunglasses. he sees me and i know exactly what he’s thinking. his plan failed so he might as well kill me. i run. he fires. it wasn’t a bullet. it was the size of a softball, maybe a bit bigger. brown. it’s gonna explode in a second and shrapnel will hit me. i hunker down behind a dirt mound. i wasn’t hit. i get up, turn around and he’s coming right at me, aiming his gun at my face. i grab the barrel and push it away but he’s stronger than me. he’s gonna blow my head off. just as he was pulling the trigger i wake up and proceed to try and catch my breath for almost an hour.

[itsanerdlife]

In Good Hands (3/5)

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader (Steve Rogers Wife)

Warning: Swearing, and things get violent here.

A/N: OKAY Y’ALL; I know some of you watch S.H.I.E.L.D. and Agent Carter, I do not. So my villains are from the comic books, I do know that this Doctor I’ve choosen has appeared in Agent Carter, but they changed so much about him in that show I stuck with how he was in the Comics. Just a heads up.

When Sam’s left to stay with you, a little light shopping can’t be wrong, till everything blissful goes completely sideways in the absolute worst ways, but your husband left you in good hands right?

@summerbummer2001   @elizabethbiersack165 @rominastark   @crimsonofthefandoms @bubblylilomelissa   @liloscreativeadventures @mrskokitztelford @chrisevansthedoritobastard   @holahellohialoha  @almightyunnie @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  @iwillbeinmynest   @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked  @goodnightwife @irepeldirt  @yourtropegirl @bellejeunefillesansmerci @buckyb-avengers @winterboobaer  @mrhowardstark @rileyloves5  @ria132love @feelmyroarrrr @skeletoresinthebasement @anyakinamidala  

A bright light, pulsing ache in your head, someone’s hand on your face. That’s when it clicked you were tied up and sitting on the ground.

“She will be fine. Did you have to hit her so hard?” A male voice, not one from the side street though, this one had a thick accent. “This can’t happen if she has damage to her brain.” He sighs letting go and the bright light disappears.

“You better hope there’s nothing wrong with her.” Sam! He was angry, oh my how Steve must be feeling now. You work to open your eyes, fuzzy shapes coming to view, shaking your head you blink trying to adjust. “Y/N?!” He almost sounded hopeful.

“Sam?” You grumble, your tied hands move to your head, a bump and dried gash on your temple.

“Oh wonderful you’re awake!” The male voice was certainly cheerful. “And may I ask who the fuck you are?” You sigh looking up, the man stood in front of you a few feet away, a head full of hair, a well groomed full beard, round in the middle, and in a three piece suit under his lab coat.

“Such hostility.” He grins, his eyes lighting up as he takes you in. “You’re quite wonderful, I see why Rogers married you.” His eyes travel over you as you pull yourself up on your feet.

“I swear to God.” Sam growls at the man, you look around you were in a warehouse a small one, metal walls and steel pillars holding the ceiling beams up.

“Now, now, I’m just giving her a compliment, I’m sure Y/N is use to such attention.” He grins moving around a table it was covered in paper work, photos, and notebooks, the other next to it was covered in tools the things on it were more along the lines of things you would find in a morgue. Your skin crawled at the site.

“You clearly know all about me, but I’m at a lost for your name.” You smile sweetly at him.

“Yes introductions!” He nods, “I am Doctor Faustus, you make call me Doctor if you like. I know of you Mrs. Rogers.” He grins delighted at you.

“I see that, er Doctor.” You nod. “May I ask why the need for me when you clearly have a love affair for my husband.” You nod the pictures on the desk were of you and him, or just him.

“No love affair my dear, just revenge.” His face and tone growing dark and bitterly quickly.

“I see.” You nod, confused and concerned for Steve. “So why me?” You tilt your head watching him.

“Experimentation.” He grins at up, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm, you choke on the bile rising in your throat. “Captain Rogers will know defeat and tragic loss now.” He grins at you.

“Let me guess he foiled some world domination plan you had?” He watches you not saying anything. “I mean that’s usually why most people want him dead or for him to suffer loss.” You nod mainly rambling at the porky man in the lab coat. “So was this before my birth or like during my childhood?” You pop your lips together waiting for an answer.

“You talk a lot.” His face changes nothing, no expression over the things you asked, nothing.

“Funny my husband tells me I do that when I’m confused.” You let out a forced, awkward laugh.

“I’m sure our issues go back before your time.” He breezes, his accent finally clicking to you.

“You’re Australian?” You watch him.

“Yes, long ago I called it home.” He dismisses that conversation quickly. There was something about his voice something you just couldn’t recall, something Steve had warned you about. Whether it was the hit to the head or a faint memory you couldn’t recall his words, looking over at Sam you notice he was strapped to what looked like a silver metal table top only he was standing up.

“Don’t.” Sam mouths to you, giving you the look. You shrug knowing you had to attempt something, you couldn’t just stand there, it was hard for you to not be difficult he knew that.

“Oh.” You groan your hands fluttering to your head quickly as you pant lightly, faking a weak spell.

“What happened?” The doctor snaps and one of his goon’s rush towards you as you lean forward hands on your knees.

“I think it’s my head.” You say faintly, putting on a show as the goon reaches you his hand on your elbow, moving quickly you slam your knee into his thigh dropping him to his knees your hands behind his head as you smash it into your knee dropping him to the ground, you yank the gun from his holster, cocking it and pointing it at the doctor, who was grinning in excitement you wiggle one hand free from the ropes the other holding the gun steady.

“I’m sure you’ve heard, I like to make things difficult.” You shrug as you move around the body attempting to head for Sam, the doctor puts his hands up but the grin on his face never slipped.

“Y/N!” Sam called too late hand in your hair yanking you back as the other rips the gun from your hand.

“Nice try.” He hisses in your ear, his body pressed up against the back of you. Sam is straining at his restraints, trying to break free, the gun disappears but his hand comes back only he runs it up the side of you over your sweater, his fingers grazing over your bare skin on your exposed shoulder. You swallow the bile in your mouth, his breathing hot and too close for comfort in your ear and on your neck. “Mmm.” You hear him chuckle in that creepy tone as he hand slips across your throat and the exposed skin on your chest.

“You’re going to pay!” Sam growls, shooting death glares at the man behind you.

“My husband will kill you.” You gasp as his fingers dance far too closely to the opening in your sweater above your cleavage. His response is only the same dark chuckle before he pushes you to the floor, you roll glaring up at him when you come to a stop. “I can’t wait to watch.” You spit at the man whose hood was pulled low over his face leaving shadows to obscure his face.

“Shut up.” He hissed before taking two steps and kicking you in the ribs, you gasp and Sam yells, you curl inward as he lines up to kick you once more, you put up your hand.

“I’M PREGNANT!” You cry in fear, gasping for breath as your other hand curls around your mid-section.

[ciathyzareposts]

Consulting Detective Vol. II – The Lions, the Pick, and the Redhead

Written by Joe Pranevich

In the words of the world’s greatest detective, “Wowsers!” We have a case with two dead actual lions and one dead guy named “Lions”. It may be contrived, but thus far it’s been a challenging case even if I don’t see how all of the clues fit together. Let’s start this week with a recap before I interview a few more people.

Our dramatis personae:

Lenny and Bruce, two circus lions, now deceased. They were captured in Africa by the lion tamer Barry O’Neill. They had only just arrived in London after a European tour– most recently in Germany– before they were killed and their wagon (and bodies) ditched in Hyde Park. They were not tame and permitted only Barry and his wife to come near them. Exactly how they ended up in Hyde Park or why they were taken there is unclear, but Holmes found empty pouches near where they had been killed. What was in the pouches? We have no idea.

Barry O’Neill was their lion tamer. He was injured or assaulted on the docks while unloading circus equipment prior to the theft and murder of his lions. Was he attacked just to allow someone access to the lions? Were the lions attacked because someone wanted to get even with Barry? I have no idea yet.

Thomas O’Neill was the lion tamer’s brother, also last seen in Germany, although it is unknown whether he and Barry met during the tour. Thomas had once loaned Barry money and continues to hold this over his brother.

Steven Lions was a first officer for the Aberdeen shipping company. He was last seen having a night on the town with drink and prostitutes, before falling dead in the street. Lions may have moonlit as a smuggler, using his position to move illicit goods in a secretive way. According to his landlady, he expected come into a large amount of money soon. His cause of death was a rare poison. Other than his companions of ill repute, he was last seen with Wally Sharp and a mysterious red-headed man. 

The Redhead may be important and is my best suspect for poisoning Steven Lions, but his identity is a mystery. 

That’s enough of a refresher. We also spoke to a number of others, including the pair of prostitutes that Mr. Lions was looking forward to hanging out with, but I believe the above are the key people to watch out for. It’s time for the thrilling conclusion to “The Two Three Lions”!

This set design looks familiar…

I start this week with my final lead from last session: Wally Sharp, one of the met who met with Mr. Lions at the bar before he died. I am not sure what I was expecting, but it turns out that he’s Lions’s captain with Aberdeen. The pair didn’t get along well, although they must have been close enough to share a drink or two. Lions implied to him that he would be coming into money soon, perhaps even buying his own boat. Sharp throws some shade at his employer, stating directly that they don’t get paid enough to ever be able to afford their own ships! If he knows the redheaded guy, he doesn’t mention him.

The only new information we get out of him is the name of the tavern where Lions was drinking, the Red Bull Inn. We visited there once or twice in the last game and I expect it’s one of the only pubs that cater to the worst sorts of individuals. Beyond that, we knew that Lions worked in shipping and that he expected money soon. Not as productive of a lead as I hoped.

My old friend!

I don’t have any more leads, so I turn to Holmes’s regular sources. I hit Porky Shinwell first, a tavern-keeper and reformed criminal who keeps tabs on the underworld. Just our luck: Steven Lions used to frequent his tavern! What are the odds of that? Then again, Lions doesn’t seem like he hangs out in the reputable parts of town, so it may have been inevitable that he ended up in Porky’s orbit. Porky gives me crucial information: both Lions and his brother are expert lockpicks. Not only is he a smuggler, but a thief as well! The next bit is confusing because Porky is talking as if he is the barman at the Red Bull Inn, where Lions had his last few drinks before the end, but I already spoke to someone there last post! Maybe they both work there? He tells me that Lions visited his pub yesterday and talked to our mysterious redheaded fellow. More importantly, I learn that the redheaded guy was also seen speaking with Derrick Quinn, but I do not know who he is yet.

As far as the lions-of-the-animal variety are concerned, Porky tells me that Thomas O’Neill, the lion-tamer’s brother in Germany, is an expert jewel thief. Worse than that, he doesn’t even have a criminal’s sense of honor. This leads me to suspect that Thomas had more involvement than I realized, but how? Was he using his brother? Were they both in on it? I have no idea.

I next head to the home of Derrick Quinn, but Holmes just scolds me for wasting his time. Is it a false lead?

New judging scenes!

With no other leads, I check to see if I have enough information to solve the case. The game thinks I do, because I can talk to the judge! This time around, they have recorded digital little scenes for the judgement rather than just text menus and audios. Another improvement from the previous, if only a small one. I recall that the judge was in the re-releases and I’m glad to see that he got his start here. Let’s get the judging underway.

Question #1: Who murdered the lions?

Just like in the last game, I have the whole London directory to choose from, so you’d be unlikely to guess the wrong guy by accident. I am not completely positive who killed the lions, but I will guess a straight-forward “Chekhov’s gun” theory: it has to be Thomas O’Neill. While that would never hold up in court, at least in the games they are not that likely to throw you clues that will never pan out. In my case, Thomas O’Neill was a jewel thief and did not get along with his brother. Since the lions also wouldn’t like him, he had to kill them to liberate the jewels he was after. But who put the jewels there in the first place? His brother? I guess we have to wait and see. I make my selection and am correct!

Motive? Oh crud.

Question #2: Why did he kill the lions?

This question will be easier since I only have four options to choose from. It’s pretty clear that the answer cannot be A or B: Thomas didn’t kill them in self-defense, but nor was it a fit of jealousy. That leaves C, a story that the “Oldenberg jewels” were hidden in the pouches, and D, Mary O’Neill put him up to it. It’s really just C, but I don’t know anything about those and feel like I missed a huge clue somewhere. Still, two questions down!

Question #3: Who are O’Neill’s two accomplices?

Wow. This question us much, much harder. We have to pick two names from the directory. Who could Mr. O’Neill possibly have teamed up with? For lack of any better ideas, I select Steven Lions and Derek Quinn, but I don’t have enough information to back up either. I have failed to solve the case and the judge kicks me out of the courtroom. I wouldn’t have felt great winning by process of elimination so I’m glad that didn’t work out. What clues am I missing?

Sorry, I’m too busy working on the last game to help…

Just like before, I’m stuck going through Holmes’s list of regular informants. This time, I pick Quintin Hogg, the crime reporter for a London paper. He has been too focused on a string of jewelry thefts that he hasn’t given any consideration to the deaths of two circus lions. Instead, Hogg has been researching the “Society Burglar” and the theft of the “Oldenburg Jewels”. Watson says that he read about both in the Times and that is clue enough for me that I need to look there.

This unfortunately is an aspect of the game that I keep forgetting about: the newspapers are cumulative. While I only looked at the current day’s paper, the game forces you to look at previous days as well. In this case, there was an article about the “Oldenburg Jewels” about a month ago. They had been stolen from the local duchess and never recovered, despite arresting prominent thieves in the country as well as shutting down the border. The two suspects were Helmut Schnitzler and Thomas O’Neill! With the border closed, how could Thomas and his accomplices get them out? Would border inspectors look in little pouches on angry lions?

The second bit of Hogg’s clue is a bit of misdirection: the “Society Burglar” was a case that I cracked last time, in the episode entitled the “Mystified Murderess”. We deduced that a rich playboy, Guy Clarendon, did those deeds. Is it clever to call back to a previous case? My suspicion is that the modified order of the cases in this series made what would have been a fun nod to a recently completed episode into a head-scratching feeling of deja vu. Fortunately, I take good notes! In any event, neither Schnitzler nor Thomas O’Neill live in London and even the German embassy is no help. Since I know about the Oldenburg Jewels now, do I have enough information to solve the case?

What was Tomas O’Neill’s role?

I try the judge again. This time, I select that Barry O’Neill and Steven Lions were the two co-conspirators in the case. I choose Barry because if the lions were used for the smuggling, then he (or his wife) had to be involved. Since she claimed not to have talked to Thomas, we’ll go with Barry. As for Steven Lions, I think there must have been a brotherly double-cross going on. While Thomas would have benefited from Mr. Lions’s smuggling skills and potential fencing contacts, more immediately he needed someone to pick the lock on the lions’ cage so that he could retrieve the jewels. Thomas is a dastardly sort, isn’t he? He worked out the whole score and then double-crossed everyone as soon as it was done, including his brother and his brother’s prized lions. What a terrible guy!

What was Steven Lions’s role?

Question #4: What was Mr. Lions’s role in the caper?

I am correct! It was Barry and Steven Lions who were accomplices, but next I have to answer a question about what role Mr. Lions played in the whole affair. This one is easy and I take A, saying that he was just responsible for picking the lock. None of the other options even come close to making sense.

Question #5: Who murdered Steven Lions?

With that answered correctly, the judge next asks who Lions’s killer was. This is tricky, but not too difficult. It was Tomas O’Neill in that previously described double-cross. That turns out to be correct as well! How many questions are there going to be? I don’t remember answering nearly so many in the previous game.

Uh oh. I don’t know the answer to this one, even if it is an easy guess.

Question #6: How did Thomas poison Steven Lions?

The next question stumps me. How did Thomas poison his accomplice? The answer must be B, but I don’t “know” that. We know that it was an uncommon poison, so that rules out A and C. We are good friends with the bartender (and talked to two of them), so it’s not likely D. But if so, I had no idea that Quinn provided the poison. In fact, I thought he was a dead-end since Holmes scolded me for going to his house.

I deliberately get the question wrong so I can find the lead that I missed. I struggle for a bit, but knowing that it was Quinn meant that it wasn’t long before I worked it out: we had to look up Quinn in Holmes’s files. (That’s the little filing cabinet icon on the right that we never press.) Holmes maintains a personal encyclopedia of news clippings and other information on many of the people in London and that is where I needed to turn to learn that he ran a shop called “Vipers Unlimited”.

Oh Holmes, why did you keep this from me?

That seals the deal since we know that the redhead– who I now assume was Thomas O’Neill, although his hair color has not once been mentioned– talked to him at the bar the day that he poisoned Lions. That he talked to him at apparently the same bar where he met his mark is tremendously stupid, but the case feels like it’s been edited since we talked to two barmen for the same place. Did the tabletop version have two separate pubs? Either way, I have the last detail. In every other case, we would have been able to learn the same by visiting Quinn’s house or at least a clue that we were looking in the correct direction. I’ll have to be more mindful of that in later cases.

Why did Thomas O’Neill kill Steven Lions?

Question 7: Why did Thomas O’Neill kill Steven Lions?

I play through the judging again and this time answer the correct “B” that Quinn provided the poison. This leads me to the next question about a motive for his death. Notice that we have the “Lyons” spelling here again. I wish the game was more consistent on this point, but I do think they are using the “y” spelling more often even as I settled into the “i” spelling. Oh well. In any case, I think it’s D because Thomas just didn’t want to pay him.

Wow. I suck.

With the “trial” over, Holmes invites Lestrade over for a chat. Exactly why he talks to the judge before the police inspector, I have no idea, but let’s just go with it. Let’s discuss Holmes’s official answer:

Five months ago, Thomas O’Neill escaped a London police search. Lestrade says that they almost had him, but Holmes scolds him that almost is not good enough.

Right off the bat, I missed this. I had no idea that Scotland Yard was searching for Mr. O’Neill months ago. Maybe I missed an article in the Times?

Three months later, he was arrested in Germany on suspicion of stealing jewels from the Duchess of Oldenberg. They couldn’t prove that it was him.

At the same time as the jewels were stolen, Roy Slade’s Animal Show finished its European tour. Thomas convinced his brother to help him smuggle out the jewels.

They used leather collars with pouches to sneak the jewels across the border.

So far so good on this.

Lestrade wonders why the lions had to be killed to get the jewels off, if Barry was an accomplice.

Watson says that it is because Barry was in the hospital with two broken legs.

Without a key to the cage, Thomas needed the services of a lockpick.

Barry then had Mr. Lions killed to avoid paying him.

Aargh! Holmes doesn’t think it was a double-cross. He thinks that the accident on the docks was just an accident. Thomas couldn’t have waited a little while for his brother to come out of the hospital? He didn’t ask his brother for the cage key but hired an expert lockpick and smuggler instead?

Watson adds that Thomas’s injury would have healed in four weeks; Holmes responds by saying that Barry O’Neill was not the patient sort.

Watson also doubts that Thomas would have agreed to the killing of the lions. Holmes agrees and says that would not have been part of the plan, only improvised after the accident on the docks.

Holmes closes by saying that the poison for the final murder came from “Vipers Unlimited”.

Finally, the note on our door came from Thomas O’Neill’s wife. She caught wind (somehow?) of her husband being involved in smuggling and wanted Holmes to solve the case to extricate him from it and that he’d be forced to settle down in London.

I don’t want to disagree with the official solution, but I’m unsatisfied by this. I can’t say that the accident on the docks was an accident, nor that Barry and Thomas couldn’t have found some other way at the jewels even with his brother laid up. And why would they plant that Barry hired a lockpick and smuggler to help get the jewels? Steven Lions could have been Thomas’s way to fence the jewels or otherwise get them out of the country, until he decided to poison him instead. And the bit with Barry’s wife? Not supported anywhere in her interview. And if her husband is in jail for smuggling, how does that encourage him to settle down and have a family with her in London. I just don’t get it.

Hate me if you want, but I’m not really happy about this case. It seems a difficult and unsatisfying start to the game. The false lead back to a case that I solved “a year” (in game time) ago made it a bit worse rather than better.

On the bright side, that is three games in a row with evil circus performers. What do I win?

Time Played: 2 hr 00 min Total Time: 3 hr 20 min

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/consulting-detective-vol-ii-the-lions-the-pick-and-the-redhead/

[ducktracy]

So I was wondering if you could give some details as to why you like specifically porky and daffy as characters? Like, is there a reason they are your favorite? Just curious.

*cracks knuckles* it’s 1 am so you bet i’m going to go off. i’m so happy you asked! one day i think i’ll do a formal analysis on this, but for now you’ll have to bear with this.

in terms of individual characters, meaning why i like them as individual characters: i grew up my whole life thinking daffy was a greedy, miserable miser, and for that reason i hated him as a kid because he was so grouchy. discovering he used to be this happy go lucky, optimistic, loud, crazy screwball SHOCKED ME to my core. i had NO idea this side of him existed (even though i had watched shorts of this side as a kid--book revue i remember vividly watching as a kid, and he’s pretty… interesting in that to say the least). i checked out more shorts and essentially i love him because he’s my type of character. i LOVE the obnoxious, overly optimistic (i wouldn’t call him overly optimistic, but you get the gist hopefully), energetic, slightly crazy characters. they’re my FAVORITE because i resonate with them the most. i think i love daffy so much because i resonate with him the most, i share his over-enthusiasm and lack of volume control, and he’s just plain FUN TO WATCH. i’ve increasingly warmed up to his greedy, miserly personality as well. i just love him a lot to the point where i get REALLY excited whenever i see him.

as for porky, i NEVER thought he would be one of my favorites. when i first got into this, i was really curious about bob clampett and decided i would watch all of his cartoons chronologically. when i saw i had to wade my way through a bunch of black and white porky pig cartoons i was DREADING it because who the fuck cares about porky pig, the world’s most boring cartoon character. turns out i give many fucks LOL. he’s not nearly as boring as he seems! he has a lot of sides to him. i like watching the 30s cartoons where he’s a cute, optimistic fella who kinda bumbles his way through things. he’s very endearing and his positivity is infectious. so it’s just as funny seeing how much of a raging temper he has, too. i never thought he’d give yosemite sam a run for his money on the most violent character, but here he is wielding axes and guns and what have you, talking about how he’s going to blow multiple people’s heads off LOL. i just have REALLY come to appreciate him a lot, it’s hard to explain. 

as for the two together… as i said, i’ll write a formal analysis on it someday (lord knows i have time on my hands now LOL), but the two have SUCHHHH great chemistry. they’re so interesting because they’re literally the only two looney tunes characters who get along.

the only other friendship i can think of are ralph wolf and sam sheepdog, but that friendship is a gag. the entire point of their friendship is for a laugh, everyone knows “mornin’, ralph.” “mornin’, sam.” it’s a friendship, but nothing more. it’s played for laughs. with porky and daffy, there’s a sense of genuinity to their friendship. there are lots of examples i could use, but the one i think of most is from a 1939 cartoon called scalp trouble (not good aside from the porky/daffy moments, it’s pretty racist). there’s a part where daffy marches out onto this saber that’s planted into the ground. the saber smacks porky in the face and sends him flying, where he’s propelled back and crashes into daffy. daffy’s in his arms and looks at him bashfully and goes “gosh, i didn’t know you cared!” they embrace and it fades out. there’s definitely a sense of sardonism in there, but watching the scene it comes off as very genuine, especially with the fade out instead of just transitioning. 

they work VERY well as a team together. porky pig’s feat is one of my favorite cartoons of all time. in it, porky and daffy stay at a hotel, and their bill is ridiculously expensive. daffy gambles away all their money, so they have to work together to escape from the snobby, persistent hotel manager who inevitably locks them in. the dynamic doesn’t feel strained, there’s a genuine sense of camaraderie, they work together, porky follows daffy’s lead, etc. it’s hard to put into words, and it’s best to watch the cartoon yourself, but there’s no air of sarcasm to it at all, no “hey! these foes are working together, would ya look at that!” it’s a genuine companionship.

furthermore, their personalities are SO different. i love daffy and bugs as much as the next person, but they’re too similar to me. both have very bold personalities, and you ALWAYS know that daffy is going to lose. daffy’s going to get mad at bugs, who plays it cool, daffy gets pissed, fucks up, loses, cartoon’s over. it’s a cycle. with porky and daffy, both are the winner. both are the loser. and there are so many ways to pair them up. porky is the hunter, trying to shoot a duck for dinner. daffy pesters an oblivious porky who falls victim to daffy’s schemes because of his big heart and gullibility. porky and daffy run a business together, and daffy’s lunacy causes chaos. porky and daffy team up to defeat a foe. sometimes daffy wins, heckling porky out of his wits, sometimes porky wins (usually by means of violence), sometimes neither win. there’s such an air of unpredictability.

not to mention, there are a LOTTTTTTTTTT of moments that porky and daffy have together that i feel would be talked about so much more so if it were daffy and bugs instead. daffy calls porky a “cherub” on a few occassions, even asks him out (and implies he wants to marry and have kids with him in the same cartoon… unfortunately that part’s not a great example, seeing as daffy heckles porky pretending to be pocahontas… you can fill in the gaps), porky has been shown to reciprocate the feelings a few rare moments (often a joke though, but that’s kinda something you just already accept in the back of your mind. 1930s-1960s cartoons aren’t going to be your best bet for good representation), kissing gags galore. 

there’s so much more i could say about this but it’s 1:30 AM and proper words escape me… but i hope this gives you an idea! i’ll be happy to infodump on ya if you’re ever curious for more :)

[ducktracy]

114. little dutch plate (1935)

release date: october 19th, 1935

series: merrie melodies

director: friz freleng

starring: bernice hansen (dutch girl), billy bletcher (vinegar bottle), tommy bond (dutch boy)

not to be confused with any other cartoon that features a) a dutch figurine of some sort or b) anthropomorphic kitchen utensils. a little dutch girl on a plate and a dutch boy salt shaker are smitten for each other, but a villainous vinegar bottle plans to put a halt to their happiness immediately.

the cartoon opens with a lovely, warm, rich chorus of “the girl on the little dutch plate”. the sound is exquisite as always, full of charm and sentimentality. open to streets of holland, specifically a cottage along the canal. inside the “little dutch kitchen” on the “little dutch shelf” is the girl on the little dutch plate. she sighs, smitten with a salt shaker boy who reciprocates her infatuation. cute animation as the boy strolls over coyly to meet his sweetheart, a collection of plates narrating the event in song.

finally they meet, and the two engage in a fun clogging routine. the animation is solid, fun, and fluid, a joy to watch. elsewhere, other kitchen utensils contribute to the fun. two beer steins exchange alcohol, a pair of overalls does a clog dancing routine, and the singing women on the plates do a lovely dance number as well. a great bit of animation as they roll the plates around and hang upside down, their many layered skirts piling up one by one. they sink their legs through the exposed hole and pop right side up, back to normal. a gag difficult to describe, but certainly a must see.

interesting to note for the girl and boy clogging—animation was done by ken harris, legendary animator most commonly associated with chuck jones. according to animator greg duffell, harris made his debut by working with friz first. he wanted to assert that he could animate, and friz assigned him this scene as a test. harris worked his magic and impressed freleng, and the rest is history. harris worked for tashlin up until his departure in 1938, when jones inherited the unit, and harris stayed with him all the way until 1962, the longest time an animator has stayed with a director at warner bros.

anyway, enter the villain, a nefarious looking salt shaker who swats his way past a thicket of cobwebs. he spots the clogging couple and hatches an idea—to reach them, he fires a mousetrap beneath himself and rockets up a long, curving candlestick. his hat smashes against the candle holder as he reaches the top, and he struggles to get it off. wonderfully amusing animation as he (now on the safety of the shelf) gets on all fours, sitting like a dog scratching its butt across the floor and pops the hat off with the aid of his feet.

meanwhile, the boy escorts his sweetheart into her real home, a model of a windmill. he serenades her with a whimsical little love song, as the villain watches in disgust. he snags a paper from his pocket, adorned with a ribbon. must mean business! he saunters to the couple and wastes no time heckling them, insisting they have until 12:00 to pay their mortgage. a very similar premise would be reused in a tex avery cartoon, milk and money, where a mustachioed villain characterized by billy bletcher heckles porky’s father on the matter of paying mortgage, or else he’ll take the farm (and in a good bit of tex avery humor, the villain whips back to the camera and whispers “he’ll never make it!).

all of the characters speak in prose as the dutch girl begs for the villain’s mercy. the villain’s motives are revealed as he suggests the girl marry him, and the matter of the bill will be gone. the little dutch boy insists he’ll have the mortgage paid on time, met with a billy bletcher belly laugh.

a cuckoo clock reveals its cuckoo bird, who announces that it’s 11:30. a figure of a native american (??? odd choice?) is perched on top and whacks the bird in the head with a tomahawk, sending him back into the confines of his clock. the girl is clearly distressed, but the boy reassures her everything will be fine. he gives the a villain a nasty insult of “you old meanie!”, to which the villain terrorizes him in response.

time passes, and the clock hands reach 12. the cuckoo bird opens his beak, about to signal the demise for the couple, when the native american socks him on the head once more with the tomahawk and winds the hands back to 11:30.

the poor boy paces around, seeking the help of a piggy bank, but to no avail. no matter! he spots something much more intriguing. an amusing set up of dentures lined up on a shelf, labeled “PAW”, “MAW”, and “SONNY BOY”. paw’s dentures have a big cigar clenched between the false teeth, which the boy trades for a stick of dynamite. he strikes a match and the dentures explode, a shower of false teeth raining down. i love how random and interesting this is! dentures, the answer for everything.

once more, the cuckoo clock and the native american repeat their charade. the native american wallops the bird before he can open his beak (taking off the bird’s helmet), winding the hands of the clock back to 11:30.

elsewhere, the villain continues to pester the girl, proposing she marry him. she does the right thing by kicking him in the face multiple times and exclaiming “i hate you, i hate you, i hate you!” good for her! finally, the villain gives up his polite act and drags the girl along, right into the belly of a grandfather clock where he attempts to advance on her.

back to the boy, who has shoved all of the false teeth into a sack. he lugs the sack over his shoulder and runs to the rescue. we get a shot of the villain and the girl, and the mood has drastically changed. as archetypal as it gets as the girl is tied to a wooden plank, heading straight for a whirring saw. she cries for help, and the boy, who has been puzzled as to why she wasn’t in the windmill, hears her pleas and rushes to the grandfather clock.

the villain steps out of the clock to confront the boy. finally, we see the use for the perplexingly amusing bag of teeth—perfect for hitting. the boy slams the bag right over the villain’s head, the force enough to get the villain’s hat stuck on his head.

the boy is then able to rush inside and free his sweetheart from her peril. they both run outside hand in hand, just in time to see the villain get his head unstuck from his hat. he swings a punch at the boy, who ducks and returns the favor, this time hitting him in the face. the villain’s head spins and flies up and down with each punch he receives from the feisty boy. eventually, he receives a punch so hard the villain’s head flies towards the great unknown.

headless, the villain bumbles around, attempting to reconnect with his head. he stumbles upon a DIFFERENT head on a perfume bottle, a much more handsome and appealing head. just as the boy is about to sock the villain hard, the girl protests, saying “don’t you dare hit him!” i LOVE endings like these. she cozies up to the vinegar bottle, cooing “you handsome man!” they stroll away arm in arm as the boy is left to his own devices.

another great ending that would become a looney staple—random bursts of gunfire. the cuckoo bird pops once more out of its hole, and just as the native american is about to conk him on the head, the bird retaliates and pulls out a machine gun, blowing him to smithereens. iris out as the bird is free to cuckoo to his heart’s content.

very cute little cartoon! the quality of friz’s cartoons are getting much better. the song was fun, flighty, and endearing, and the dutch couple were very cute. the villain was entertaining (and archetypal) as always, and both endings—the girl falling for the villain and the machine gun wielding cuckoo bird—added a nice element of surprise. the choice of putting a native american on the clock was... odd, but for the most part comes off as relatively innocent. the story was archetypal but executed in a manner that makes it fun and intriguing. worth a watch!

link!

[ducktracy]

60. shuffle off to buffalo (1933)

release date: july 8th, 1933

series: merrie melodies

director: rudolf ising and friz freleng

starring: johnny murray (old man/little boy), the rhythmettes (singing babies)

an early 30s baby bottleneck! an old man is in charge of sending storks to deliver babies to their rightful parents, and we get an inside look at the process.

a flock of storks are carrying their weight in babies, their wings flapping to a jazzy and addicting underscore of “shuffle off to buffalo” (another song from the musical 42nd street). the animation is done particularly well, especially when more storks emerge from the windows of a tower, flying in opposite directions and overlapping with each other. one of the storks flies straight towards the camera, a baby crying and opening its mouth, segueing us into the next scene.

writing in a book, sitting at a messy desk with papers strewn about and telephones galore is an old man. he takes a few calls, the phones seldom providing any relief (like a less frenetic, more orderly version of daffy answering all the phones in baby bottleneck) as he answers “okay” over and over again.

one call in particular grabs his attention. we don’t hear what the other man is saying except for garbled nonsense, but the old man replies “yes sir! what a man!” in delight. he grabs a stray paper off his desk and reads it, which says “please send us twins. hopefully, mr. + mrs. nanook of the north”, the paper dated july 1933 and sourced from the north pole. nanook from the north is in reference to the 1922 documentary of the same name.

the man shuffles his way to a freezer, opening it to reveal two inuit babies inside wearing parkas. funny gag, would be funnier if the babies weren’t so... stereotypical. unfortunately, there’s a lot of that happening in this cartoon. well, not a LOT, but any amount of stereotyping feels like a lot. he places the babies in two swaddles carried by a stork, one labeled “upper birth” and one labeled “lower birth”. the stork takes off and leaves the man to his duties.

he reads another paper, this time in hebrew (i’m sure you can see where this is going). he can’t decipher it, scratching his head, and places it in a basket attached to a pulley system above him. the basket is sent to the “stock room” and a stereotypical jewish baby with curly hair and a big nose returns to him. safe to say i don’t think i need to explain why that’s not good.

the man stamps the baby’s diaper, deeming him kosher. of course, this is a very opportune time to launch into the eponymous “shuffle off to buffalo”. the baby carries on the song, dancing his way into a nursery where baby backup singers provide vocals—including a baby caricature of maurice chevalier. very catchy song, another earworm for the collection!

similarities between this and baby bottleneck just keep on coming! we get a glimpse of the “baby factory” if you will, run by elves(?). it’s parallel almost exactly to the one in baby bottleneck, same gags and inventions. raymond scott’s “powerhouse” is sorely missed! in 4 more years he’d release it, and the world would never be the same since.

babies are thrown into a washing machine and dried via roller towel and a nozzle connected to a fan. talcum powder is grinder onto them, much like a pepper grinder, and there’s a bar that flips the babies onto their stomachs so they can be powdered once more (same gag in baby bottleneck, though the bar flips them over so they can get swaddled). paper towels are substituted for diapers (that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen!) and are stapled shut with a staple gun. man, i think even porky and daffy had safer safety practices, even though they did almost get ripped to shreds in their own factory. at least they had actual diapers! to make it even worse, one of the babies cries, and an elf throws it into the washing machine again and leaves his post! there’s also a scene (again parallel exactly to baby bottleneck) where the babies are fed milk through a crank operated tube, like a gas station. finally, the babies are dropped off in bassinets and sent out to be delivered. do all this and you’ll have your very own factory made baby in no time!

the babies waiting to be delivered are fussy, screaming and crying. one of the elves snaps and insists “WELL, WHADDAYA WANT? WHADDAYA WANT?” of course, the babies cry for their hero, eddie cantor! this totally threw me for a loop. i love it! even if you don’t know who he is, the fact that the babies will only be pacified by a celebrity is a hilarious concept in itself.

to make matters even funnier, an elf make his way into the nursery and takes off his mask (you meddling kids!), and it’s none other than eddie cantor. our hero! he sings “shuffle off to buffalo” call and response with a group of babies. very entertaining to watch and listen to, and just full of absurd goodness.

one of cantor’s lines include “i can impersonate ed wynn,” and sure enough he turns into a caricature of radio star turned actor ed wynn, warbling horribly off key. we then get our fill of MORE stereotypes, including a stereotypical chinese baby singing some lines and a pair of blackface caricatured babies dancing offscreen.

one of the elves pull a curtain, and behind it cantor is playing the piano, complete with an elven orchestra. i adore how bizarre this is! not nearly as bizarre as baby bottleneck, but also equally as bizarre in terms of concept. i don’t know about you, but when i think of babies, i think of 1930s radio personality and singer eddie cantor. don’t you?

there isn’t much else to describe—cantor continues to play and the babies get a kick out of it. the show ends and we fade out as the curtain draws to a close on cantor.

obviously, this cartoon had a fair amount of stereotypes, which were quite cringeworthy and awkward. didn’t age well at all. but aside from that (with that acknowledged and considered), this was a good cartoon! upbeat, bizarre, and swingy. of course, i MUCH prefer baby bottleneck, which is a lot better in execution, in animation, in practically everything—but it’s also tied for my favorite cartoon of all time, so i have my biases. this was a good effort, though! another merrie melody that didn’t really feel sentimental, just silly and bizarre. let’s put these celebrity caricatures in here for the hell of it, huh? i’d recommend it! “shuffle off to buffalo” should be criminal for how much of an earworm it is. if you do watch it, obviously view at your discretion with a few of the stereotyped babies.

link!